Peeta's Problem
by ChaseChick
Summary: Peeta and Katniss return home to District 12. Unsure of what the capital has planned nor of what they feel for each other, they begin their uncertain future. Story begins at the end of the first book. Peeta's POV. Sequel posted: Peeta's Solution is up and the story is beginning!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Welcome Home**

I watched the blur of trees and fields as they slowly became engulfed in shadow as we sped home on our train. My blonde hair matted in the condensation of the window, my eyelids drooped as I fought to keep them open. Meanwhile, my thoughts ran in circles. What the hell am I going to do? When you had resigned your fate to death and then are unexpectedly dealt a new hand, how did you go on from that?

I entered the arena knowing in certainty only two things. One, that Katniss Everdean was going home and two, I was going to die. Nothing much else seemed to matter. So imagine my surprise when the game maker's game turned against them and they were forced to award the citizens two victors instead of one. It was an unprecedented event that no one saw coming. Therefore, no one really knew what to expect next.

Well no one, it seemed, except Haymitch Abernathy. His harried whispers in my ear before the final taped re-cap, before I was reunited with Katniss, or my "one true love", as they liked to call her. He mutteredc dire warnings as he seemed under the assumption that we were in all grave danger. That the capital would take anything and everything they could that mattered to us if we weren't careful, and even then, they'd still wreak havoc, any chance at a normal life was thrown out the window.

I shrug my shoulders and attempt to reposition myself into a different position. My hip aches with odd way my body is seated. I'm constantly trying to adjust my balance to accommodate my new metal appendage. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my old leg, my flesh, blood. I miss most of all being able to feel. You never realize how much you feel until it's gone. The only thing I feel anymore is pain. Every once in a while I am assaulted with sharp stabbing pains that feel just like the slice of Cato's sword and I go to grasp it only to realize there is nothing there but metal and plastic. Phantom pains are what the capital doctor called them. Great. Like having real pains wasn't enough.

Over the slow steady hum of the train and gentle rocking I hear crying. Not soft steady whimpers, but gut wrenching, primal screams. I stand up and steady myself against the window. I'm still not one hundred percent with keeping my balance and the unevenness of the surface below me always makes it worse. After a few unsteady steps my gait evens out and I push out of the train car and into the hall. The sound of the screams grows louder. My feet lead me to adoor, _her_ door. Without thinking of the repercussions I open the door, quickly step inside and shut the door before anyone else is disturbed by the noise.

I make my way to her bed where she has tangled her legs in the sheets. Half the pillows are pushed haphazardly onto the floor and I have to slide my feet along to keep from falling over them. I kneel down to the bed and gently try to shake her awake.

"Katniss, wake up. You're dreaming." I feel a sudden grip on my wrist and I'm about to sigh in relief when suddenly my wrist is yanked out from under me and I'm thrown toward the headboard of the bed. My feet slam into the wall and a searing pain from my stump has me seeing black spots.

"Katniss?" I ask into the darkness. She is looming over me. I hear her gasp and her hand goes to her mouth.

"Oh my god, Peeta. I'm so sorry. I was sleeping and…" She stops mid-sentence when she sees my hands clutching my leg. "Oh my god, are you hurt are you…" She doesn't say okay. There is no way I will ever be okay, I don't think either of us will be.

"I think I'm fine, just smarts a little. Just give me a minute." I try to come of nonchalant . I think I almost manage it when I grunt out in pain as she leans in to have closer look.

"Should I go get someone?" She asked as the tears that were only threatening come spilling down her cheeks.

I'm saved from having to give her an answer as her door gets pushed open. "What is with all the racket in here. It's a good thing I wasn't trying to sleep." Haymitch doesn't wait for an invention and simply barges in the room. He takes one look at her all sweaty and the disheveled bed then to me and starts laughing. "Jeez sweetheart you can't be so rough in the bedroom if you want him to ever come back for more."

My face burns as I realize what he is insinuating. I glance at Katniss who looks lethal. "Ha ha Haymitch! I think Peeta's hurt his leg."

Haymitch immediately drops his joking demeanor and makes his way to the bed in two quick strides. "You alright Peeta?" I cannot take the sympathy as he looks down at me. I turn towards the wall to avoid either of their penetrating gazes.

"I don't know. It stings a little. I haven't looked at it. Don't really care to look at it to be honest. So just help me up and on my way."

I hear him sigh and then I feel his large palm on my shoulder the other hand grasping my hand. Katniss has scrambled up and attempted to help by pulling my other hand. I sit up and find that the black spots are receding at least. I'm shocked to notice that the train is slowing down.

I'm just about to voice this observation when I hear a cool "Arriving in district twelve" announced throughout the train.

"We're home" Katniss says with a small smile.

"Let's get you up kid." Haymitch calls our attention back to the task at hand.

They both give me a tug to get me verticle. They just let go of my hands when the pain stabs again and I fall into Haymitch's arms.

"Wonderful." The train jerks to a stop and I fall the rest of the way to the floor. Welcome home Peeta.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Before we could disembark from the train we are accosted by capital stylists, not Portia or Cinna unfortunately, but some orange waif of a person. I am handed a pair of dark trousers and a blue button down shirt. I sigh in resignation and take off toward my room. I take a lopsided shower in an attempt to give my bum leg a rest. After quickly toweling off to avoid all glances in the mirror, I catch site of my Frankenstein reflection anyway and pause to see my broken body, though oddly clean with no scars is just perplexing. I wonder what the point was of erasing them was. I mean, clearly the games left their mark, so why bother? I run a quick comb through my hair before glancing around my room. I've noticed that my things have all been packed into a shoulder bag but I walk out of the room to find Katniss without it. I want no more reminders of this trip. I have enough already.

I find Katniss just as she emerges from her car, her hands also empty. She's been attempting to peer through her window at the crowd that has formed in anticipation of our arrival. She has no doubt been looking for Prim and _Gale_. I look at her trying to gauge her mood, her thoughts but her face is as closed off as it ever was. She is completely unreadable.

"Katniss" I start. She looks up at me, her grey eyes meet my blue ones and I swear my heart stops. She is so beautiful.

"Peeta," She starts to turn away. I reach my hand to stop her and she shrugs it off. She makes her way to the front cart and sits on the edge of a chair. "Listen, about this star crossed lovers thing."

My heart is in my shoes. This is not going the direction I had hoped, had dreamed that it would. "It's okay Katniss. I understand that you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you. You did what you had to." I immediately try to clamp down on these traitorous feelings. I want to grab her and kiss her until the pain goes away, to take her in my arms and run away where no one can find us. I wasn't ignorant. I knew she was doing what she needed to survive, but some small part of me hoped that she would come around.

She looks like she wants to say something but in bounds Effie Trinket. "Come on you two, you've got one more showing to go and then it's off to a life of luxury." Effie stops and takes in the scene glancing from Katniss's tense posture and I'm sure at my face which I'm struggling to make impassive. I never was good at hiding my feelings. I really needed to work on that.

"Ready to go kids?" We are once again saved from making any conversation or answering Effie's probing look by Haymitch. I'm beginning to think his good timing isn't just my good luck. I think there might be more to Haymitch than I ever thought.

"Let's just get this over with." Katniss huffs in her usual surly demeanor.

"Smile for the cameras and hold hands." Haymitch huffs right back.

I slide my hand into hers for one last moment. I cherish the feel of her small cold hand that fits delicately in my larger paw. I look down at her and just for one moment I catch her eye before the doors are thrust open. Its early evening in the district but the train depot is all lit up and there are camera's everywhere. People are yelling us, vying for our attention.

Katniss is careening her head in every direction trying to locate Prim and her mother. I glance around myself. I have a hard time spotting him but my father stands stoically alone by a street lamp in the back. I catch his eye and offer a small nod in his direction. He returns my nod with a sad smile and a small wave.

Katniss pulls her hand suddenly out of my own and I immediately miss the feel of it. It leaves me feeling empty. She is trying to make her way through the thick onslaught of people to get to Prim. I see her blonde hair shining in the light as she sits aloft Gale's shoulders. I follow Katniss and throw my arm around her shoulder. I push through the throng of people a little easier with my broad shoulders. Katniss looks up at me with a small smile and a quite thank you before she's swept into the embrace of Prim. I'm carried onward by the crowd in the direction of my father but not before I see Gale Hawthorne wrap his arms around Katniss and kiss the crown of her head.

My insides boil and then freeze in defeat. I never had a chance. I make my way slowly through the people offering their congratulations, everyone touching me. They all want a piece of their victor but all I want as an escape. At long last I make my way to my father

"My boy" he whispers and he steps forward before offering me a soft hug and a kiss to my forehead.

"Father" is all I manage to utter out before I feel the burn of tears in the back of my throat. I choke them back. I will not cry. He loops his arm through mine giving me a little something to lean on as we make our way out of the crowd and slip away from the noise and bustle in the train depot.

I make to turn down the street at the square to return home to the bakery when my father tugs me in another direction. "No son, this way."

Oh yes. Victor Village. How could I have forgotten? I guess the saying is really true. You can't go home again. I slowly hobble all the way across town to the slightly greyed sign that announces our entrance to Victor's Village. Before now I'd never had reason to enter it. The sole occupant, Haymitch, too didn't seem to mind his lack of visitors. I see him now offer a small nod as he makes the way up his sidewalk. The Village as it's called is a small cul-de-sac of ten houses; it would be its own community, if the houses were filled. My father and I continue down past Haymitch's house to the next, Katniss's, it goes without saying. And finally we stop in front of mine. It's identical to the two before it, two story and massive by 12 standards, nothing personifying it of the occupant, yet anyway. My father slips the gold key into my hand and I quickly unlock the door and step into the entry.

The entry is softly lit and I find someone has started a warm fire in the hearth of the living room. A basket of fruit sits upon the counter in the kitchen along with a friendly "Welcome to Your New Home, Compliments of Your Capital." My stomach churns at the thought.

"Welcome home, son." I turn to look at my father.

"Where are mom, and Rye and the others?" I ask confused.

He holds his hand up to stop me. "Son we need to stay at the bakery. Things have been busy since you left and your mother suggested that you might need your space."

"You mean she wouldn't want to live next door to Seam Trash." I spit with only a small amount of venom. I'm sure she didn't want to live here, especially not with that particular Seam brat since I had spilled to the world that my father once was in love with her mother.

"Peeta" my father starts.

I sigh with a shrug and offer him a small smile. "I'm sorry Dad. It's okay. I understand. I appreciate you picking me up and bringing me home".

"If you need anything I'll only be a call a way. " He offers as he makes his way back to the door. "Please come over for dinner tomorrow night we can all catch up."

"I'll think about it, I will." I tell him as my hand rests on the door unwilling to shut the door as he walks away. I'm unwilling to shut him out of my life, but it looks like I might not have a choice.

I watch him until he rounds the bend past the entrance into Victor's Village before he's disappeared. I take a gulp of breath air trying to slow my hammering heart. Its dark now, completely dark. Haymitch has one light burning on the second floor, Katniss's house is all a blaze, like a beacon in the dark. I can see her through the window sitting on the couch laughing and hugging Prim.

She is closer than ever but why does she feel so far away?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**That Which Doesn't Kill You**

_Author Note: I hope you are all enjoying this so far. This is my first try at writing a fanfic and I'm using it to get my creative juices flowing so that I can knock out a couple of scripts. I plan on making this novel in length and I plan on updating at least daily. Let me know if you think this is moving too fast or slow, etc. I'm starting out cannon but I'm not sure if it will stay that way. Anyway, onto the woes of our poor Peeta. _

I shut the door and I'm greeted with its resounding echo. For a moment I stand here, frozen by the door unsure of what to do next. I decide to give myself a tour. I start by inspecting the kitchen, gleaming granite counters, a chrome fridge with a matching double oven. I reach up and open the nearest cupboard to see it full of spotless dishes. I continue to open cupboards at random to find the capital has spared no expense. From bake ware to plums, every cupboard full. What a waste I think, all the families going hungry while I have more food then I could hope to eat. After perusing the kitchen I inspect the living room and foyer, the couch firm but comfortable, the carpets thick and plush. The first floor is rounded out by a pantry, a few closets and a quaint washroom. I slowly heave myself up the stairs and realize I am more exhausted than I care to admit. I suppose the whole avoiding sleep thing was finally catching up with me.

Four bedrooms and two bathrooms later and I've finished the grand tour. A quick glance to the clock on the wall shows I've used twenty whole minutes. I make my way back to what I assume is the master bedroom and make to climb into bed when I realize I'm still in my homecoming clothes. They remind me too much of my reaping clothes and I long to shed them. Curious, I open the dresser to find once again the capital has predicted my needs. I slip on a cotton shirt and some sleep pants before washing up in the bathroom. I turn off the overhead light and plod to my bed. I sigh as I take the weight off my feet. I hastily detach my leg and lay it next to the bed. From the soft lamp light I can see that it's flaming red. The stump itself is soft with new skin but I've got angry patches of skin courtesy of my new leg. I ease back onto my pillow and switch off the light. Immediately I'm plunged into darkness. I feel my heart start to pound of its own accord; I break out into a cold sweat. I make to turn the light back on when a light outside the window catches my eye. A figure silhouetted in the darkness, a figure I'd know anywhere, my Katniss.

I groan and turn hugging a pillow to my chest, I need to quit with the possessive thoughts when it comes to her, I have no claim to her.

My eyelids droop of their own accord as I keep my eyes on the glowing light of Katniss's room. Sleep takes me under its evil clutches and instantly I'm surrounded by the arena and capital mutts and creations. Their teeth nip and tear my flesh; they pull Katniss through the brush and out of my reach. I wake screaming, heart pounding, my bed clothes sticking in sweat. I roughly rip off my shirt and toss it to the floor. I sit up and flip on the lamp and try to slow my breathing. I quickly snap on my leg and make my way to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and cool my throbbing throat with a cool glass of water. I make to walk back to bed when I stop to look out the window. I sit on the window seat and look towards Katniss's room and I start, she too is looking out her bedroom window.

I don't move and nor does she. I'm not sure if she sees me because she seems to be staring at nothing in particular. I sit this way for what seems like a few minutes but when I look at the horizon again I see it streaked in the pinks and purples that can only mean one thing, dawn. I've made it through my first night alone. Well almost.

I stand and work the kinks out of my neck and a shoulder, my leg doesn't feel as sore as last night so that's a plus. I look to Katniss's window to find her gone. I have no idea when she disappeared and I wonder if I will see her today. It makes the day seem a little less bleak even though I'm continually fighting these emotions towards her I seem unable to stop her control on my emotions.

I shower and dress for my day. I hear a knock at the door and I am surprised that anyone would pay me a visit. I rush to the door hoping that maybe its Katniss to find a delivery man on my porch with a box. Stamping down my disappointment I sign for the large package and heave it in the door. Inside are canvases, paints, brushes, ether and just about anything I could need to paint. Having discussed my victor talent with Portia we decided to give this a shot. I'd always loved making creations in frosting; my only complaint is they never lasted. I longed to create something that wouldn't be eaten or melted away.

I decide to set up my paints in the spare room next to mine. It offers the best light. I rearrange the room shoving the bed and furniture to one side and set up my easel next to the window and find the morning light is perfect. I decide to start right away having nothing else planned anyway.

I get lost creating a picture I just can't get out of my head, Katniss when she found me lying near death near the river. Her eyes crinkled a bit in what I hope are genuine concern and worry. I don't stop to eat breakfast, nor lunch and I'm just admiring the finished product when my stomach gives a mighty rumble. I'm startled to note that the sun is setting casting an orange glow on my picture. The girl on fire, I smirk to myself. I nearly jump off my seat when I hear the phone jingle in the hall. I hastily make my way over and pick it up.

"Hello," I ask uncertainly.

"Peeta, its Rye. How are you?"

"I'm okay. What's going on?" I ask and I smile at the sound of my older brother's baritone voice.

"It's nearly dinnertime; we thought you were going to come join us?"

"Oh yea, sure. I didn't even realize the time. I'll just clean up and be right over."

"Okay lil bro, see you in a little while."

I step into the washroom and wash off the paint as best as I can from my hands and splash my face with some water and hastily run my fingers through my hair in attempt to tame it into a more manageable mess. I cup my hands and sip water quickly before making my way downstairs. I grab my keys from the table, lock the door and head out of Victor's Village.

Not thinking to grab a coat on my way out I shiver a little as the cool spring air wraps around me. I just keep hurrying towards the bakery; I cannot afford to be late. My mother is an unforgiving woman when it comes to being prompt. We were always expected to be up by dawn baking and there right after school. I can't count how many times she'd wallop us with a broom or whatever she had on hand if we were even a few minutes late.

I let myself in the bakery just before six and go up the stairs to the house above. It's just as I remembered it. Faded yellow paint in the kitchen, the worn table and mix matched chairs; it smelled wonderfully of beef stew and fresh bread.

I'm immediately surrounded by Rye and my other brothers. My father approaches, wiping his hands on his apron after my brothers have all given me hugs and ribbed me about finally coming home.

"Son," he says and offers me a one shouldered squeeze. He looks at me with a penetrating stare. I know he can see right into me and I know I'm not fooling him in my act. "Come, sit. Dinner's just ready."

I sit somewhat heavily into my chair and my brothers scramble into their seats. My mother enters silently from the other room. She gives me a glance and says nothing before moving onto something else. My father sets the finished stew in the middle and waits for my mother to sit before finally taking his seat.

"We are so thankful you made it back to us Peeta" my father says and offers a small smile before offering me a bowl of stew. I accept it gratefully, though I say nothing.

My brothers look from me to my mother to my father unsure of what is safe territory for table talk. The result is a somewhat subdued dinner.

"How's the house." Rye offers after we silently chew for some time.

"It's okay, big and lonely." I slip in not sure of why I want them to feel guilty.

My mother takes this moment in insert her opinion. "What Katniss too busy with all the other boys to come and play?" Everyone sets the spoons down to observe.

I keep my eyes glued to my plate. I know she is just goading me into a fight and I'm trying to not give her the satisfaction. "She just used you. Made you look like a fool." I chance a glance at her and see her mean smirk glued to her face; it seems she's enjoying this.

"Mom," Rye says in a placating gesture. I make eye contact with him and just shake my head. There's no use getting him into trouble too.

"Thanks for dinner everyone." I stand wiping my mouth a napkin. I move my dishes to the sink and rinse them and turn around to make my way to the staircase but my mother is right behind me blocking my way.

Poking me in the chest with her finger with every word she spouts, "How dare you spread your lies and filth to the entire of Panem. Loved her since you were a child. Tut."

I'm sure her sharp finger will leave little bruises speckled across my chest but that is nothing in comparison to the small stab in my heart. I hear the scrape of a nearby chair as my father moves to intervene but he's too late as I feel a blow come to the side of my head. I lean back against the counter unwilling to fight my mother.

"That's enough" my father put his arm around my mother's shoulder in attempt to pull her back to the table, but she lashes out once more smacking me in the mouth. I immediately feel the familiar taste of iron and know I've split my lip.

I nod to each of my brothers and move to the stair well and let myself into the cold spring air. The coolness feels good on my face which I'm sure is sporting some good swelling. I scuff my feet along the pavement as I make my way across town, kicking little pebbles out the way, the shadows offering me privacy which I'm thankful for given my current predicament. I pass Haymitch's house and I hear a glass smash and her him slur obscenities to no one in particular. I keep moving unwilling to be the brunt of one of his vicious alcohol fueled rants tonight. I'm not sure I could take one more person telling me I was the bane of their existence. I continue past Katniss's house that is all ablaze and onto my own which stands alone and dark. I drop to sit on the front steps. I don't want to go into that big empty house; it just makes me feel even more alone. I lean against the railing and stare up at the moon and stars. The last time I had done so was in the arena. Funny thing is I feel even smaller now than I did then. I tentatively touch my lip with my fingers and I'm surprised that they are bloody. Perfect, a victor that can't even fend off his own mother.

"Mr. Mellark," I hear. I flutter my eyes, I must have drifted off asleep out here and I shiver as I realize how chilled I am. I look up to find blue eyes staring at me not too different from my own.

"Mrs. Everdeen" I say unsure of what she wants.

"Are you okay?" She looks at me with motherly concern and it makes my heart ache. My own mother didn't care what became of me obviously. I wonder what it would be like to have a mother that worries over your injuries and not be the one giving you them.

"Yea I'm alright." I try to offer her a smile but I ended up hissing as my newly healed lip splits again and begins to bleed.

"C'mon" she offers her arm. "Let me get you cleaned up and get some ointment on that lip and some ice on that eye."

"That's okay you don't have to." I say but she's pulling me forward and she gives me a look not unlike Katniss's, there's no arguing with her. I let her lead me to their door and into the warmth of their entry.

She leads me to the couch and sits me down. "Wait right here a moment." I'm still in a bit of a daze of how I ended up in this position but I don't move. I see a little flutter of movement before I see a blonde head peaking around the corner.

"Hello Prim." I say and she peaks the rest of the way around the corner.

She gives a small giggle before sitting in the chair opposite me to gaze in wonderment at me.

"What happened?" She asks me in childhood innocence.

"Prim." Mrs. Everdeen admonishes as she comes back into the room her arms full of herbs and ointments and a bowl with some ice water.

"It's okay Mrs. Everdeen." I say. "My mother wasn't too thrilled to see me at dinner is all."

Prim gasps "That's awful." Mrs. Everdeen's mouth is set to a grim line.

"Prim why don't you run along and get one of your father's spare shirts out of the closet" Mrs. Everdeen suggests.  
Prim bounds away without a second thought.

"Peeta why don't you take that one off, you've got blood all over it." I glance down and sure enough I've got blood blooming in spots down the front. I'm instantly back in the arena and begin to breathe a little heavy. She lays her hand onto mine. "Peeta its okay, just take deep breaths, in through you nose and out the mouth." I cling to the sound of her voice and try to do what she says. "There you go." I start to calm back down and I'm immediately embarrassed by my reaction. My cheeks are surly flaming. Like she's reading my thoughts she says "It's okay Peeta, its common given what you've been through. Don't worry about it."

I began unbuttoning my shirt and pull it off just as Prim reenters with one of her father's old shirts. Mrs. Everdeen makes to hand it to me but stops when she looks at my chest, which is, sure enough peppered with little bruises. She helps me put my shirt back on all the while shaking her head. I look up in the mirror over the hearth and I'm surprised to see Katniss's reflection behind me. She's standing behind the couch. She looks right back at me in the mirror before moving forward and laying her hand on my shoulder. I cover my hand in hers as her mother begins to delicately clean my lip. I squeeze Kantiss's hand involuntary when I feel the sting and she lays her head down on top of mine. I close my eyes and relish in her touch. After a few more moments of cleaning and ointment Mrs. Everdeen set's an ice pack on my hand and moves to lean me back against a pillow. "Now keep ice on that eye and rest here you can go back home in the morning." I lean back and Katniss moves to the front of the couch and removes my shoes while Prim covers me with a soft afghan. Before I know it sleep seems to pull at me and I go under without much fight.

What a night.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Here it is the last chapter for the night. I think there are probably typos but that's what you get when you are trying to type with a two year old running about. I have a direction in mind for this story and for now it will follow cannon. Please continue with the reviews and let me know how you like it. I'm really focusing on characterization and building relationships between them and then we will move on to the meat of the story. Love the comments. Keep them coming =) Tomorrow it's back to one day job, which actually means I can crank out more chapters so expect a few to come tomorrow! Enjoy!_

**Chapter 4**

**Confusion or Denial**

I wake sometime before dawn. My pulse still pounding in my ears, my skin damp from another capital induced terror. Thankfully I think I have come to without screaming my lungs out, I glance around and realize after I moment that I am not on my own couch. It takes me a moment, but even though the houses are identical I can tell I'm in Katniss's. The blanket in a tangle around my hips is the first clue, the ice pack I've long since dropped to the floor, the small knick knacks they've decorated with, and it just smells like Katniss. I sigh in contentment. I wish I could just stay here, maybe then I wouldn't feel so completely and bitterly alone. Alone with my musings for a moment I'm surprised when I catch a shadow dart pass the entryway in the slowly brightening windows.

"Katniss?" I whisper out to the figure.

"Peeta" She returns somewhat cautiously. "What are you doing awake?"

"I never sleep much."

"Me neither" she offers.

"Where you headed?" I ask unwilling to let go of her yet.

"To the woods to meet up with Gale. It's Sunday his only day off from the mines."

"Oh right." I can't squelch the utter despair I feel at the thought of him spending the whole day with her though I know I shouldn't, she isn't mine. Gale has more claim to her than I do at this point.

"Peeta" She starts but then stops unsure what to say next. After a few awkward moments she speaks her voice cracking slightly "I hope you feel better." With that she silently steps to the door and slips out into the morning air.

I sigh and struggle to sit up and violently kick the tangled blanket from my feet. I have slept with my leg on and it's rubbed on the sore spots on my stump and my face and lip smart a bit. I'm sure my lip and face would be worse if it weren't for Mrs. Everdeen but I hate this feeling of constant ache that doesn't seem to go away. I stoop down and collect the blanket and neatly fold it and replace it in my place on the couch. Retrieving the ice pack I dropped in the night I make my way to the kitchen to empty it in the sink and then set it on a towel to dry out. I make my way back to the couch to slip on my shoes when Mrs. Everdeen catches my eye as she comes down the stairs.

"Good morning Peeta, leaving so soon?" She comments as she pads the rest of the way barefoot on the carpet.

"Yes, I think I should head home, I don't want to be more of a bother. Thank you again for last night Mrs. Everdeen."

"Peeta you aren't a bother. You are more than welcome here anytime. Wait just one moment, I have something for you. "With that she leaves me as she makes her way off into the kitchen. Before I can ponder the reason for generosity she is back with a round container. "Here this is some balm for your leg." I noticed you've been favoring it and I can't help but assume that it's been chaffing the skin; I'm sure it's sensitive. This should help with that."

She thrusts the container into my hands and I have to force my mouth closed in shock. "Th-thank you Mrs. Everdeen, my leg does rub a bit."

She offers me a small smile as I let myself out the front door and into the bright morning light. I make my way home and finally let myself in to my empty home. Grabbing an apple from the counter I make my way to my bedroom to shower, managing to catch a glimpse of my reflection along the way. My eye is black and purple and my lip is slightly swollen and red where it recently split. I quickly shower and dress in some fresh jeans and simple black t-shirt.

I nosh on my apple and head to the room to paint. Without meaning to I start painting the scene from the kitchen last night at the bakery. My mother's arm outstretched reaching towards me, my brothers' resigned expressions along with my father's sad ones. Before I know what to make of the painting I hear a door slam next door through my cracked window. Katniss must have returned from her hunting trip with Gale. It's late afternoon and my stomach gives a rumble. I need to make note of the time and eat more. I just can't seem to bring myself to have much of an appetite these days.

I slip on some shoes and make my way over to visit Haymitch. I find him sitting on a rocker on his front porch today instead of wallowing in the trash inside. "Haymitch" I nod as I take a seat on the porch step.

"You know I've lived here almost twenty five years with no entertainment what so ever. You two moving in has given me something to watch." He offers with mirth as he takes a sip from his hip flask. I can't help but smile, at least my life is amusing to someone.

"Nice shiner kid. Didn't get enough fighting in the arena huh?"

"I wasn't fighting." I say in a soft mumble.

"How'd it happen then? Get a little too fresh with Katniss again?"

"No." I say as my face flames bright red remembering the last predicament he caught us in. "If you must know, my mother welcomed me home last night."

Haymitch says nothing in return, just sips from his flask before handing it off to me. I take the offered flask swallowing what surely must be liquid fire. I stifle a small cough and hand it back to him. We sit in amicable silence for a while before I stand and stretch myself out.

I'm about to step off the porch to head home when Haymitch surprise me by asking "You eat recently kid?" I shake my head.

"Haven't really had much of an appetite I guess." I say.

Haymitch nods knowingly. "I can't tell you it will be alright Peeta. I can't even tell you it will get better. I'm obviously proof of that."

I glance at him in trepidation. Is this what my future holds?

"I see the way you look at her Peeta. And you know what I mentioned back at the capital. I don't really know what's going on in her head but I can guess. Take it slow boy, I think she'll come around."

"Yea" I croak, "What makes you so sure of that?"

Haymitch stops to ponder for a minute. "I've seen the way she looks at you when you aren't looking."

I take that as my bid to leave and head back to the house to forage something for dinner. I end up trying a can of soup but find it reminds me too much of the stew from dinner the other night and I end up tossing it.

I resign myself to bed but wake well before dawn. Knowing I'll be unable to sleep after witnessing the latest trauma I head to the kitchen and decide to bake a few loaves of bread. I think I'll take one to Haymitch and one to Mrs. Everdeen to thank her for generosity. I find the routine easy and I fall into it at once losing myself in the business of baking and thinking of nothing else.

Its sometime after sunrise when I finish and I bag up the fresh warm loaves to deliver them. I start with Haymitch's first. I find him passed out on the couch and knowing how hard it is to catch sleep myself I don't disturb him. Instead I leave the loaf on the table where he can easily find it when he comes to. Next I swallow my pride and head to the Everdeen's house. At least I can find solace in the fact that Katniss is probably out hunting and I won't have to worry about seeing her.

Mrs. Everdeen invites me in when I try to just hand off the bread and of course she won't take no for an answer. She plops me down at the kitchen counter for tea to go with the bread and she is making idle chit chat when Katniss storms down the stairs fuming.

"I can't do this." She stops short when she sees me sitting at her counter.

"Hi Katniss" I offer sheepishly.

"Uh hi Peeta."

Mrs. Everdeen just smiles her knowing smile and addresses her daughter. "Can't do what?"

"This" Katniss spouts as she tosses a paper with a half-finished drawing. It looks sort of like a mannequin but I can't be sure.

Katniss catches me glimpsing and my questioning look. "Ugh" she mutters "It's my _talent_". She comes around to the stool next to me and plops down and immediately begins to dissect an orange with more force than necessary. "Cinna is helping me to _design_ clothes for my talent, but I'm no good."

I pull her tablet closer "It's not too bad." I say as I pick up the pencil and began to even up some of her lines. I stop when I realize both Mrs. Everdeen and Katniss are peering down intently at what I'm doing.

"I didn't know you could draw." Katniss says.

"Paint," I say "but I do draw on occasion. "Painting is my talent; I've only done a few so far." I say before thinking about it.

"Can you show me?" She asks.

I swallow with nerves but she's giving me _that _look. How can I say no?

Before I know it she's in my paint room peering at her portrait, she doesn't say anything. She then moves over to the easel that has the kitchen scene and she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Wow." She says. "You are really good."

"Thanks" I say softly unsure of what her mood is. One minute she seems interested, the next she's so far away I feel like she wouldn't touch me if I was the last man on Earth.

"Maybe you could help me out with my drawings sometime?" She says a bit nervously.

"Sure." I offer and blow out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Okay" she says as she heads out the door and down the stairs. "Tomorrow then?" she pauses before she heads out the door.

I smile and nod my head in approval. Her smile in return is nearly blinding. When the door shuts and I see her dart past the window I sink to the bottom step and sigh. There is no doubt about it; I am still very much in love with Katniss Everdeen. The question is, is she in love with me?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Time is a Funny Thing**

_Author's Note: Cannot believe I am on to Chapter 5 already. Monday and the beginning of the month means I'm swamped at work plus I have some extra projects but I am really into writing this. After this little diddy I think we are onto the victory tour and some real Katniss/Peeta interaction, I cannot wait. Please let me know what you think! This really is working wonders at getting my muse back for creative things!_

I wake up after another fitful night of sleep but at least I'm excited about the prospects of the day and the possibility of spending some quality time with Katniss. I try to keep myself busy so I'm not staring at the clock. I've baked some bread and even some cookies and delivered them. I've cleaned myself up and picked up what miniscule amount of clutter I've managed to accumulate in the few days I've been here.

After that's complete I decide I should just paint until I hear from Katniss. I'm sure she'll come over whenever she is ready to work on her drawing. I've opened my window to let the sun in, the day seems to already be heating up. Summer has arrived. Today I decide I'll paint what haunted my dreams last night. Cato and his sword, and as I'm painting the bright hues that were no doubt influenced by tracker jacker venom that was in my system, I can't help but suppress a small shutter. Cato always wore a smirk and I think he seemed especially happy to take me out. I knew he had his suspicions right from the beginning when I forged an alliance with the careers.

I'm whiling away the time and am only disrupted from my thoughts when a swift rap sounds on my door. Katniss. I try to clamp down on the smile that I can feel spreading over my face as I make my way to let her in. I open the door to find her standing there, hair braided, comfortable jeans and t-shirt, face clean of makeup. The girl I grew to love, not the capital made up version.

"Hi" she offers with a small smile.

"Hi, you want to come in?" I offer stepping aside.

"Thanks." She comes in and settles at my kitchen table.

"Cookie?" I offer as I put the plate down.

"Oh, I love this kind." She says as she immediately snaps into one.

"So where did you want to start?" I ask her.

"Well… Cinna suggested I just learn to draw a basic figure that way we could put clothes on top of that. But I can't even get the figure right." She blows her bangs out of her eyes.

"Okay" I say and I pull out a sheet of paper from her pad. "A figure is all about curves and if you are just going to use this as a template to put something on it doesn't have to be all that detailed. We could draw one that you like and then you could just trace copies off of that and make a bunch. Then all you have to do is put the clothing styles over that. "

"Why did I not think of that?" She smiles.

After a few minutes I've drawn one that she is happy with. I show her how to do it and she begins to practice making the strokes so that she can draw it free hand if she ever needs to, like say for a capital taping. "Ugh it's never as good as yours." She frowns.

I can't help it. She's biting her lip and worrying it back and forth as she concentrates. She's so close to me I can feel her breath and smell the cookie on it, I can smell her laundry soap and a hint of the outdoors. She glances up at me and her breath catches as her eyes meet mine. I can't help my actions as I lean in slowly and touch my lips against hers. Her lips are soft and moist against mine. After a moment of shock she responds to the kiss and I feel like fireworks are going off inside of me. After another moment she pushes me back and I stop and look at her, both of us breathing a little heavy.

"Peeta," she starts, "just…no." She stands quickly pushing the chair back with such haste that it topples to the floor. She collects her papers and makes towards the door with alarming speed.

"Katniss wait." I try but she's already out the door.

I stand in my kitchen flabbergasted by the turn of events. I silently berate myself for being so stupid as to try and kiss her. Had she not only days ago reminded me of where I stood when we were on the train?

She doesn't come back that day and I don't go to her. The days bleed one into the other and with nothing to break the monotony I feel like I'm slowly losing grip on reality. I continue with baking bread and apart from the occasional visit with Haymitch or a word or two with Mrs. Everdeen when I deliver her bread I talk to no one.

The leaves turn to bright oranges, yellows and fire red and I move to the meadow to try and paint them. I sit most of the day attempting to capture them just right when I see Katniss and Gale darting back under the fence, laughing oblivious to my presence. My stomach clenches and I grip the paintbrush until I can't feel my fingers. I try to appear normal and keep up under the pretense that I haven't noticed them and just keep painting.

I can see Katniss out of the corner of my eye as she catches site of me. Her smile immediately drops and she glances hastily at Gale. Gale glances my way but says nothing and shrugs his shoulders to Katniss non-committedly. I wonder if she might venture over and talk to me but I doubt as much. I ruined any chance at a friendship we once might have had. She seems to hesitate on the edge of the meadow before deciding to follow Gale along to the Hob. Once they are out of my site I slouch and let out the air I was holding. I didn't realize how badly I really wanted her to talk to me until she chose not to. I feel completely and utterly hopeless.

Without even bothering to finish my painting I pack up and head home where I can hide, where I won't have to see the pity in anyone's eyes whenever they look at me. With each passing day I'm starting to think it might have just been easier if I'd swallowed those berries or if I'd just died from the blood poisoning. Everyone knows Katniss is the real victor; I'm just the poor little boy that she dragged home that can't seem to move on. Poor little Peeta.

Time continues forward until I'm surprised one afternoon by a phone call from Portia. She asks how I've been doing, how my painting has been coming along and how excited she is to see me next week at the kick-off of the victory tour.

"Next week?" I say into the receiver. "It can't be next week it's only…"

"Peeta, have you been living under a rock?" I hear Portia laugh. "It's nearly November!"

And so it is. I must be more in denial than I thought. I have a week to pull it together before my world comes crashing back down. I hope I'm strong enough keep up this game with Katniss. We can't afford to let the Capital think we aren't madly in love. Well I guess I don't have to pretend, it's obvious that she is the only one that has to act, because it seems as much as I've tried to let go of her I just can't.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Notes: I think I am going to start to deviate a little from Canon in this chapter. I'm hoping we will see a little more Katniss and Peeta angst and maybe a little fluff. Conflict is approaching quickly and I can't wait to see how it plays out. Please review and let me know if you like the direction we're headed!_

_Thanks!_

**Chapter 6**

**The Wayward Train Travels**

In the six days before my prep team and the Capital's arrival I try to put myself back together. I try to consciously eat more but I doubt it will make a dent on the weight I've lost. I try to go into town to have some sort of interaction with other people. I even try to sleep a little to see if I can get the dark circles that always adorn my eyes to lessen. I must fail miserably because when Portia storms into my kitchen she puts her hands on my cheeks and evaluates me with a motherly stare.

She doesn't speak about it but she has to take in my clothes. Because of the cold she is able to add layers of extra clothes to add on some bulk. The team works miracles and my brassy hair shines again and they have layered makeup over my dark circles and I start to look a little like the old Peeta. While my prep team makes idle chit chat I can think of only one thing, Katniss. In a few short hours I will be holding her in my arms and pretending that it's the most natural thing in the world. We will kiss and smile and laugh. It all seems very foreign to me. I can't help but wonder how Katniss is handling this. She couldn't even stand to be in the same room with me let alone kiss me.

I'm brought of my musings with the bounding in of Effie Trinket and the camera crew, "We're on a tight schedule people we need to film Peeta's talent quickly if we want to get to the train on time." I smile a little at her twittering's, some people never change.

We've moved my paintings into the living room and set them up on display. We film me saying a few lines and then the camera crew dismisses me and moves on to film each of my paintings. Effie tells me to exit the house at exactly 5 pm and to rendezvous with Katniss and the cameras on the sidewalk and then we will make our way to the train and film us boarding the train to kick off our victory tour. They file out the door and shut it behind them. It's just Portia and I left now and she walks over and sits next to me at the kitchen counter.

"Want to talk about it?" She asks.

"What's there to talk about?" I say.

"You deserve so much more than this Peeta." She says and she lays a comforting arm on my shoulder giving it a soft squeeze before she heads out. "You can always talk to me Peeta if you need anything" she says as she softly closes the front door and makes her way back out to the waiting entourage that will head to the train before us.

At five minutes to five I'm waiting at the door my hand on the knob and trying to take slow even breaths. I'm about one step below a full-fledged panic attack. How the hell am I going to do this? I haven't felt this terrified since the chute at the arena. At exactly five I steel my resolve and pull open the front door and abandon the warm sanctuary of my home and step out in the cold wintery air. My feet slip a little on the light dusting of snow that seems to have fallen while I was in with my prep team. The snow is still lightly falling as I make my way slowly down my walk. I see Katniss's front door open and first a camera emerges and then comes Katniss.

Her hair is in her signature braid but beyond that I can't tell too much. She is bundled up in a long coat gloves and scarf like I am. Suddenly she breaks away from her slow walking camera crew and runs right to me and throws her arms out around me. Her weight is too much with the slick pavement and I lose my footing and we both topple backwards onto the snow. My breath is momentarily knocked out of me and she uses that opportunity to plant a hot and heavy kiss on my lips. I look up into her eyes and she giggles. I smile because the cameras are right next to us rolling away. What the hell has gotten into her? When does Katniss giggle?

She helps me up and helps dust off my back side of snow. I offer her my arm and we walk to a waiting town car that will whisk us off to the train station. Not ten minutes later after waving off to a few well-wishers we are off on our victory tour.

We are speeding off to District 11 with an alarming speed when I go to find Haymitch in the bar car sipping refreshments. He nods in my direction "You see Katniss?"

I shake my head "No, should I have?"

He forces his mouth into a grim line. "Remember my warning." He then mouths, they are listening.

If we were truly star crossed lovers they'd be hearing us spending time together, of which we clearly aren't. I sigh and make my way out of the car in search of my troubles.

I find her sitting by a window in an empty car. She's out of her capital clothing and back into worn pants and a long sweatshirt her face scrubbed of any makeup. She obviously hasn't heard me enter so I clear my throat a little to announce myself. "Mind if I?"

She sits up a little and nods. I sit in a chair opposite her and look out the window. She falls back into her slouched position and begins to chew her thumb nail. A trait I notice she only does when she's nervous.

"You okay?" I ask softly.

"Of course." She offers a bit shortly, she gives me an apologetic glance.

"You just seem a bit on edge. I'm here if there is anything you want to talk about you know."

She offers me small smile, "I know. Thank you Peeta."

We fall back into silence and aren't interrupted for some time. A capital attendant asks if we'd like anything and I order us a couple of hot chocolates.

Katniss takes hers and offers me another smile. "Thanks" and with a nod the attendant has left us again.

I'm mid sip when she spouts out what has been on her chest "I'm nervous about going to 11."

I ponder for a minute, "Because of Rue?" I offer.

"Yes and Thresh. Out of all the other competitors they were the closest to allies we had Peeta, and Rue…" She stifles a sob and puts her hand to her mouth. I set my chocolate down and move to kneel in front of her. I place my hand on her hand and pull it away from her mouth. I use my other hand to lift her chin so that I can get her to look at me.

"Hey, Katniss. It will be okay. You showed Rue and the District so much respect by grieving for her, you shared a loss right along with them. I don't think they'll be as hostile as you might think."

Tears spill down her cheeks and she sucks in a breath before answering, "I'm just so afraid to see her family, to see how much they're hurting and here we are throwing our victory right in their face." She starts to cry in earnest. I bring both of my hands to either side of her face and wipe the tears away with my thumbs.

"They won't think that Katniss, I promise you that." She surprises me by leaning in to give me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Thank you Peeta, or caring so much about me" she whispers. I'm still hovering inches from her face when Haymitch enters the car to announce dinner.

"C'mon you two love birds. Let's eat."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter #7**

**Untitled**

Dinner is a quiet affair and before I can gather up the courage to speak to Katniss she's up and disappeared back into her room. I lean back and try to reign in the thoughts and feelings that are pouring through me. This girl has got me so screwed up I don't know which way is up. I feel like I'm drowning, my head breaks the surface only long enough to get a breath before I'm pulled back under.

I don't even bother trying to sleep on the train. I know I won't be able to and I'd rather not replay the horrors if I can help it. I try to pass the time by playing with a deck of cards, even watching useless capital sitcoms on the TV, though none of it holds my interest. I decide to make my way back to the bedroom so that I can at least tell everyone that I've slept. I'm about to enter my room when I hear her muffled cries. I hover in my doorway with indecision just hoping she'll stop her nightmare on her own, when she doesn't stop I decide I should just wake her up. I hope that if the situation was reversed she'd do the same for me. No one should have to relive the death we've had to witness.

I knock softly on her door, "Katniss?"

When I don't get a response I turn the knob and enter her room. Her lamp is still on but she's asleep in the middle of her bed. Her legs are tangled in the sheets, one shapely leg stretched out on top leading up to her short plaid sleeping shorts. "Katniss?" I try again.

"Peeta, no." She mumbles and I'm about to turn around leave when she thrashes much more violently than before and yells out, "no not him please, oh Peeta, please!"

She's obviously still asleep; I can't help but suppress an internal leap of joy at hearing her call my name with such heart wrenching affection. I shake my head as if to dispel the thoughts and make my way to her bed. Remembering how this turned out the last time I decide a different approach might be warranted. I slide into her bed and slowly wrap my arm around her head and draw her to my chest. I wrap my other arm around her hip and begin rubbing small circles on her back.

I don't know how long I lay here before she wakes up. I just notice at some point that the pattern of her breathing has changed. "Thank you." She whispers and looks up at me.

"There's no need to thank me." I say as I shift my weight about to stand.

"Stay?" She asks with a pleading look.

I settle back and resume stroking her back and running my fingers through her long soft hair. "Always." I reply and lay a small kiss on her forehead.

We lay in quiet companionship for a while, the rocking motion of the train helps to lull us and I feel my lids grow heavy and I realize that lying with someone else is a little comforting.

She reaches up and rubs my check softly before moving her hand to my hair to softly caress the curls. "Shhh. Peeta, go to sleep. Let me watch out for you for a while."

"Hmm. I'm not tired." I groggily try to stay awake for this. I am drinking in the feel of her, her body pressed up tightly to mind, her hand wandering in my hair. It feels so right, like two pieces of the puzzle fitting together. There is no awkwardness or confusion. We just fit.

Katniss gives me a small smile. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks. Please let me help you?"

"I'll sleep if you will." I tell her with a smug smile.

"Okay" and with that she tucks her head back onto my chest and as much as I try to fight it sleep claims me within a few breaths.

"C'mon Katniss, time to get up. We've got a big, big day!" In bounds Effie Trinket bright and early the next morning. She stops short and makes a squeak and covers her mouth with her hand. "Oh. My." She turns around as if to give us privacy.

"Effie, its fine, I'm not indecent." I try not to laugh at how embarrassed she appears. I look down to see Katniss's grey eyes staring right back at me. She offers me a warm smile and giggle at Effie's little predicament.

"I dunno Peeta, you seem pretty decent to me." Her response is low and throaty and just like that my world has fallen off its axis. With just a few hours of sleep and a few words she has wormed her way back in to my heart. Like a balm she seems to have eased my aching heart.

I take a deep shaky breath and answer her with a smile and finally stand up and follow Effie out of the room. "See you a breakfast Katniss."

At the breakfast table Katniss and I continue to catch each other's eyes and smile. Haymitch, hung over but observant, peers over at us over his coffee suspiciously, meanwhile Effie is rambling through the schedule of what will happen while we are at District 11. From the speeding train I can see blurred glimpses into the landscape as we make the final approach into District 11. It all seems flat with crop after crop there must be hundreds if not thousands of miles of food plots.

After we finish going through the schedule a few more times by a persistent Effie we return to our cars to be dressed and prepped for our stop. While I'm getting powdered and cleaned I can't help but hope that Katniss has kept up her jovial mood and not lapsed into her manic depressive state over the thought of seeing Rue's family.

The train has stopped and we've been shuttled into an armored car. I see a look pass between Katniss and Haymitch but I have no clue what secret message they may be passing now. The ride is hot and bumpy and with the lack of windows I have no idea what I'm heading into and that thought makes me a bit nervous.

We get a brief tour of the justice building before we are introduced on a stage thrown up just outside the steps. A large group of the workers have assembled to "greet" us, though none of them looks thrilled to be here. I have a feeling that all is not well in District 11. We stand up to give our speeches and I know that I owe a debt of gratitude to Thresh and Rue, it was because of them Katniss made it out alive. So it is with this thought in mind that I deviate from my script to offer them a portion of our winnings to their surviving family members. I hear murmurs and a rising echo of voices from the crowd. I'm not sure exactly what's going on but I don't think it's good.

We are quickly ushered off the stage after our speeches and are about to return into the Justice Building when Katniss stops to stare back at an old man that is whistling Rue's song. I stop to pull her along.

"Katniss come on lets go." I tell her. She's stopped completely now and I follow her stare to the old man, just as two peace keepers force him to his knees and put two bullets to his head. I heave her forward but all I see is blood and brain matter spattering. I take a deep breath and just try to focus on getting us inside the safety of the building.

"What happened?" Haymitch asks. "Where those gun shots I heard?" He takes over leading a shell shocked Katniss and heads towards the stairs. "You two follow me."

I'm not sure where we are heading and I don't care. I follow behind Haymitch and Katniss in some sort of daze. I think I may be in shock and I'm not sure if it's the sound of my heartbeat in my ears or if I'm hearing more gunshots. At long last Haymitch pulls us into a dusty room that looks like it hasn't seen the light of day in years.

I see Haymitch and Katniss passing furtive glances and whispering furiously in the corner. I only catch Katniss's last remark. "We should have told him."

"Told me what?" I have a feeling I'm not going to like what I hear.

Haymitch glances at Katniss before he raises his hands in a placating gesture. "Now Peeta lets just calm down."

"Calm down?" I scoff, "I'm not angry yet. Should I be?" I'm not sure why this anger is suddenly bubbling to the surface.

"Snow paid me a visit before the start of the victory tour." Katniss begins shifting uneasily from foot to foot. "There have been some disturbances in the districts and he believes we are to blame. He told me that we had better make damn sure that we sold this star crossed lovers act because otherwise people might get the idea that we pulled the stunt with the berries to make a laughing stock out of the capital." Katniss finishes dejectedly. "He wants us to settle down these potential uprisings or there is going to be catastrophic consequences. He threatened Prim, and Gale, and _you_." I can't help but here how she utters the last word. It does nothing to ebb my anger though.

"And neither of you thought to mention this to me?" I say loudly. "Christ" I curse out as it dawns on me what I've done. "Do you have any idea of the damage I've just done out there? I've made things ten times worse. They wouldn't have shot that…" I'm too angry, too upset to continue. I clench and unclench my fists and I can hear the blood rushing in my ears. I don't remember picking up the lamp or throwing it I just remember the crash. I put my hands in my hair and pull at it trying to make some sense of what is going on.

"Peeta, we didn't mention this to you because you don't need to act, you are so good at this…" Haymitch starts. I shut him up when I punch the wall next to him.

The board I punched was thick but it splinters, the plaster falls in broken chips to the floor. "No secrets. From Me. Ever. Again." I say with as much force as I can muster because suddenly I'm very tired.

I open the door and storm out of the room back to the main lobby where Effie and our entourage have been frantically trying to locate us.

"Peeta, where have you been?" Effie asks me. I'm saved from answering as Haymitch comes up behind me.

"Just giving the kids a tour." Haymitch tries to smooth it over. He puts his arm around my shoulder and gives me a gentle squeeze.

"Settle kid, play it cool until we are out of here. Understood?"

I just offer a subtle tip of my head. I'm still upset at him for not telling me what I really needed to know. Katniss reappears a little later with her eyes red rimmed as if she's been crying. We are about to enter the banquet hall for dinner when she grabs my hand to make our entrance.

I hiss in pain as she grabs the hand I'd used to punch the wall. "Oh my god, Peeta, your hand…." I look down to see a long gash across my knuckles that's dripping blood and some pretty bad bruising which means I've probably done some damage.

"I'm fine Katniss just use the other hand." We switch sides and I hastily wipe my hand off on the inside of sleeve.

"Peeta, I'm.. I'm sorry." Katniss says.

"We'll talk about this later Katniss. Now is not the time." I say as the doors are thrust open and we are forced into the brightly lit banquet hall for lunch.

"But Peeta?" She starts.

"Later Katniss. Let's just do this and we'll talk tonight. I'm too angry and too tired to do this right now."

She squeezes my hand in reassurance as we make our way through a crowd of people to a table of food that I have no appetite to eat.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Sorry I didn't write a note on the last chapter. My life has been chaotic this week and work has been busy and stressful! I realize I have an M rating on this story and I hope that I really get to write the naughty stuff! I'm hoping this weekend to get a little down time to really churn out some Peeta Angst. I don't feel I've been doing this story justice since I'm having a hard time focusing. But alas here is the next one, hope you all enjoy it!_

**Chapter 8**

**There and Back Again**

After a hurried lunch we are ushered back to the car and then to our train. I have a feeling they didn't want us to linger around and stir up any more trouble.

I go to my room wanting a little space from everyone and shower until my skin is shriveled from the moisture. I'm still sitting on my bed starring at the wall when I hear a soft knock on the door from a servant announcing dinner.

I take another moment to gather my courage and make my way to the dining car where everyone else is already seated. They all look up and stop talking when I enter. I can't help but think they were discussing me. I say nothing and sit in my chair. I push my food around on my plate rather than eat it. I nod or give one word answers and don't really follow along in the conversation. My head buzzes with so many thoughts I can't make sense of anything.

After dinner we watch a recap of our visit to eleven. Of course the shooting and even my speech have been edited out. My pulse pounds and I wipe my hands nervously on my pants and I'm surprised to see they are shaking. I clench them in order to still them but my right hand is still swelled and split and I hiss in a breath.

Katniss looks at me with wide eyes from across the room. She looks down at my hand and then back to capture me with her penetrating stare. I am starting to realize how out of control this situation is and how everything lies in a delicate balance and one wrong move could make it all fall down like a house of cards. As soon as the viewing wraps I mumble a goodnight and return to my room.

I attempt to shut the door when I see a boot stick in the door stopping me.

"Peeta," Katniss whispers. "Are you okay?" When I don't say anything she continues, "You didn't touch your dinner; you haven't said hardly two words. She follows me into my room an shuts the door behind her.

"I'm fine." I mumble.

"Here," she thrusts a handful of ice wrapped in a napkin. "Let's ice that hand, it looks horrible." I hear her sniffle as she reaches to gently set it on my injured hand. She holds the hand steady with one hand, her other holding the icepack as she guides me to the bed to sit. "I wish you'd just say something."

"I don't know what you want me to say." I pause looking out the window to figure out something, anything, to make sense of the thoughts racing through my mind. I finally pick one thread and I speak it before I lose my nerve, "I'm scared."

"I am too Peeta."

"I'm not scared about Snow." I say and it hangs in the air for a moment. She looks at me questioningly. "I guess I mean I'm not only scared about Snow." I lay back against the head board and she clamors to sit next to me. She leans against my arm and peers up at me. And those god damn grey eyes seem to pull the words out of me without trying. "I'm scared of what might happen if we don't pull this off, I'm scared you'll get hurt, but the thing I'm the most scared of is that you might never really love me, that you will just do anything to keep your family safe." She looks like she wants to interrupt so I continue quickly, "No, Katniss. I don't fault for you it, I can't even be angry at you for it. But it hurts worse than Cato's sword ever could."

Finally after sometime she speaks her voice cracking, "What makes you think me loving you is an act?"

"What would make me think otherwise? You ran after I kissed you and left me to my own devices all summer. I was so completely alone, my heart shattered in a million pieces." I don't even try to hide the tears as they brim over my eyes and fall down my cheeks. "I'd wake screaming and there was no one there to hear. I tried to stop sleeping but everything followed me no matter where I went, day and night, I couldn't escape it. The only time I feel like I can even string two words together or feel as if I might make it is when I'm with you. And then you tell me this act needs to fool them. I'm not acting Katniss." I finish and take a deep shuddering breath before I look down at her.

She is absolutely heart breakingly beautiful even with tears glistening off her lashes; it sparkles in the setting sun streaming through my windows. She bends down and softly kisses my hand before moving to my chest and she peppers a small kiss where my heart lies beneath. I suck in a breath and hold it in, what is she doing. She reaches my face and places both of her hands on the sides of my face, "I'm not good with words Peeta, so it's hard for me to say what I'm feeling. And the truth is I don't know. I know I care about you but I just can't dwell on my feelings right now. Not with everything and everyone I know in such a perilous position." She kisses me full on the lips. Her lips soft and warm, her tongue brushes my lip and I open to allow it entry. Her tongue dances lightly with mine before she pulls back and continues. "I am so sorry I left you Peeta, I was scared." She tries to continue but she just starts sobbing and I put my arms around her shaking shoulders.

"Shh… It's okay Katniss."

"No it isn't". She nearly shouts. "You shouldn't have had to go through that all on your own. It was so selfish of me. No matter what we figure out or how I feel, I'm not going to leave you again Peeta. I promise."

I take her mouth hungrily at mine and she accepts willingly. We kiss for hours or minutes, I'm not sure which until we are both drowsy and content. She falls asleep in my arms and I can't help but wonder where this leaves us.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: I managed to crank out a chapter today at work instead of working. I've updated the picture for this story today too; I hated the last one I had up. So here we finally venture from cannon and have a little bit of action. Good way to kick of a Friday. Let me know if you like the direction of this now =) I rather like it!_

**Chapter 9**

**Whatever Happens**

Everyday it's the same thing. Wake, prep, smile for the districts, eat, socialize, board the train and hold Katniss until we fall asleep. I no longer deviate from our speeches and just as she's promised Katniss hasn't left me alone. Sometimes I feel her start to slip into herself and I pull her back, sometimes, when I don't see the point of it all she kisses me and tells me to come back to her.

Two broken people trying to just do the best they can with what they are given. I feel myself both looking forward and dreading the end of this victory tour at the same time. I don't have much control over the situation and time seems to slow down and speed up of its own accord. We are just about to re-enter the Capital and I face the terrifying thought with Katniss's holding onto me for dear life, her fingers are almost painful in their grip. I have my arms resting on her hips and my chin resting on her head. I don't offer words of comfort I just offer her my presence.

The Capital party is unlike any of the other districts. Their extravagance knows no bounds. While millions starve they can eat, purge and repeat. It makes me so angry I find I clench my hands repeatedly. Katniss knowingly pries my fingers apart before laying a kiss on my hand and a small smile.

My feet are tired and I feel like we have been dancing with socialites and making small talk for ages. My nerves are fried and every time they pull Katniss from my reach I can't help a creeping sense of paranoia that she's gone for good. After another grueling dance with another strangely colored capital woman I manage to make my way over to a refreshment table where I find Haymitch standing.

"Where is she?" I don't beat around the bush and there is no point in clarifying who I'm referring to. There is no one else.

"I was wondering the same thing." His response sends my heart plummeting to the floor. I start to peer around frantically, but I don't see her in the arms of any of the men that have been pawing at her. But then I start to look for someone I should see but don't, Snow.

"Where is _he_?" I ask Haymitch. He looks at me and presses his lips into a thin line.

"Find one and I bet we find the other." He says. We start to casually walk the room. Haymitch pulls Effie aside and whispers into her ear. She nods and then darts off. "She's off to check the little girl's room."

When Effie returns later she offers us a shrug of her shoulders and shake of her head. Great. Where did he take her? I know he has her, there is no other explanation. Just as I'm about to lose it one of Snow's bodyguards makes his way over to us and leans into whisper, "Your presence is requested with the President."

We follow our escort out of the hall and the door closes behind us drowning out the sound of the tinkling of glasses and the giddy laughter of the party. We climb several flights of stairs and make our way down a thickly carpeted hallway. He brings us to a set of double oak doors and opens one, motioning for us to enter. He immediately shuts them behind us leaving us in the room.

I see Katniss perched on the end of a love seat, Snow's arm on her shoulder. I move to go to her when I'm grabbed roughly from behind an arm tightens around my shoulder and I feel a sharp shooting pain in my neck. "What the..." I start by my words are choked off.

Haymitch is shoved by another guard to sit next to Katniss. I look at her and her eyes look right back at me pleading me to do whatever it is they are asking me.

"Now, now let's settle down." Snow begins and he stands up and walks to his desk where he leans against it. I can't move my head in any direction but where it's directed and whatever the guard has jabbed in my neck pulls if I even breathe.

What the fuck is going on? As if hearing my thoughts Snow begins.

"You three are on my very last nerve. I give you one simple task to do…" He fades out as if he is to exasperated to know what to say. My heart is pounding and my legs are weak with adrenaline. "This is your last warning. Toe the line or you will regret ever having pulled out those berries do you understand me?" His voice rising as he continues.

He nods to the guard behind me and I feel a horrible burning sensation in my neck and then at long last it's pulled free, I catch a glimpse of a needle in my peripheral vision and I feel sick. What the hell did they just put in me? I start to feel a little woozy and lean forward; I don't want to fall to the floor in front of this man so I pull myself over to the sofa. Katniss immediately moves forward to kneel in front of me resting her hands on my knees she asks, "Peeta, are you okay?" I feel strangely weak and I only nod to her in response. "What did you do to him?" She asks President Snow.

"I cannot have the three of you traipsing around Panem as if you own it; offering promises, making a mockery of this fine Capital. We'll let Peeta take this punishment; it's only fitting after the little stunt he pulled in District 11. So whenever you get the urge to try my patience again look at the pain Peeta feels and maybe you won't be so apt do it again."

I try to talk but I feel a bit winded, "I don't... I don't understand… the pain?" I'm unable to really finish but I'm confused, I don't feel any pain, I'm lethargic if anything else.

Snow gives me an evil smile and walks towards me. "How do you feel Peeta? A little weak perhaps? A little light headed?"

I look at Katniss whose eyes are darting between me and Snow. I nod in confirmation. He nods to the man that stuck me with the needle who swiftly moves forward and roughly pulls Katniss in a headlock. My pulse surges and I move to pull the man off of her when I am blinded by an excruciating amount of pain. I cry out before I can stop myself. I feel like knives are stabbing me all over. I crumple immediately to the ground and pull myself into a fetal position. I don't even know where I am, how I got here or what is going on around me.

After an amount of time passes I feel the pain start to ebb away and I become conscious of reality again. I'm soaked in sweat and I think I have bit through my lip or my tongue because I have blood running down onto my shirt and I can taste the familiar metallic flavor. I'm stiff and achy as if I've just gotten over the bad flu as I shakily pull myself into a sitting position.

Katniss is sitting beside me on the floor; she looks like she's afraid to touch me. "What..." I have to stop to clear my throat, it's a bit gravely and I think I must have screamed myself hoarse. "What just happened?" I close my eyes fighting to keep awake.

Snow just gives me a grandfatherly smile and walks back to his desk. "What you just experienced Mr. Mellark is a new invention I've had cooked up just for you. Any surge in your adrenaline and you will be crippled with an overwhelming amount of pain." I look at Katniss and over to Haymitch trying to wrap my head around his words. Haymitch looks like he's aged twenty years, his face pale and he looks like he's shaking. "Just think Mr. Mellark, when your heart race? Anytime you run, when you're afraid, when you make love…" He smiles glaringly at this last point.

Through the fog in my mind I'm starting to connect the dots. And I think I'm totally screwed.

"There is no other antidote other than what I personally have. No one will be able to help you but me, but you must follow my rules or you will stay this way." He nods to the guards and says "Escort them out take them back to the train."

Katniss tries to help me to my feet but she too seems weak. I hope they haven't laid a hand on her. I couldn't take it if they had. Instead Haymitch grabs my arm and heaves me up. I seem to walk okay on my own if we go slowly but the guards seem to be in a bit of a hurry. The stairs give me grief too so Haymitch pulls my arm around my shoulder and he takes some of my weight.

We are escorted down the back stairwell and out a back door into the dead of night. No grand exit or farewell on this return trip. A dark tinted car is idling in the drive ready to whisk us back to our train. I sit down heavily in the back seat and Katniss slides in next to me. We pull away from the mansion and it quickly falls away in the rearview mirror. I'm having a hard time staying awake so Kantiss guides my head into her lap and strokes my hair soothingly. I nod off to the gentle rocking of the car. I hope tomorrow I'll wake up in Katniss's arms on the train and this all been some horrific nightmare, but I don't think I'm that lucky.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**The Journey Home**

_Author's Note: Okay so Chapter 9 I posted on Friday but apparently Fan Fiction didn't take it. So I hope you enjoy the new direction of the story. I guess you lucky ducks get two chapters in one day =) Happy Monday, I hope this makes it a little more bearable._

Do you know that moment when you first wake up and just for a second and everything seems okay before reality comes crashing back to you? That was me. I'm nestled warm in my bed, Katniss's arms wrapped protectively around me, the sun shining in the window and the train with its gentle rocking motion attempting to lure me back into sleep. Then the events of last night come reaching through the fog and attempt to strangle me.

"Peeta?" Katniss asks her voice thick with sleep. "Are you okay?"

I'm about to open my mouth to respond when I feel an overwhelming sense of nausea and struggle to free myself from the blankets and make it to the bathroom. I nearly fall next to the toilet but at least I managed to throw up in it and not make a mess like Haymitch always seems to. I throw up everything in my system but I can't stop dry heaving. I'm leaning heavily against the commode when I feel a cool wash cloth dab my forehead and around my mouth. Katniss rinses it out again in the sink and then lays it on my neck.

"Any better?" She asks her eyes somewhat hopeful.

I hate to disappoint her so I shrug and say "sure". I don't know if she believed me or not, her eyes flick over my sad form and I think I may have failed the inspection.

"You want to get back in the bed?"

I nod my head and try and get off the floor but I'm so weak that Katniss has to use most of her body weight to heave me to my feet. I place my hand on the sink to steady myself because my sudden upright position has made me light headed. Slowly like an old man she leads me back to bed and tucks me under the covers. She comes back to the bedside with a glass of water. "Small sips, "she says as she leans the glass to my mouth.

I take a small sip before my head is too much to hold up. "Thanks," I murmur.

"I'm going to go for a minute; I'll be right back okay? Don't move a muscle." She tries to smile at me.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." I try to offer her a bit of humor but I see her lips start to tremble.

"Can I get you anything?" She asks as she's part of the way out the door.

I shake my head and try to stop fighting the exhaustion that's pulling me back under. What the hell did they do to me?

I dream of one horror after another, capital mutts, careers, Katniss dancing with Gale, me dying slowly at my home in Victor Village all alone. I dream about being on frozen tundra where I can't get warm. I walk and walk but can't find any shelter against the biting wind. I moan in my sleep and start become aware of reality again. I'm no warmer in reality than I was in the tundra though. I'm shivering and my body is covered a thin sheen of sweat. I see that someone has piled more blankets on me in attempt to ease my chill but they don't seem to have helped. I pick up on hushed voices just outside the door.

"He's been sleeping a long time; we'll be back to twelve by morning for our welcome back celebration." I hear Katniss offer in hushed tones.

"Whatever the capital injected him with is definitely some sort of poison. Maybe this is good that he's reacting this way, it might mean his body is trying to reject and dispel it rather than absorb it." I hear Haymitch whisper back.

"We obviously can't let people find out about this, I'm sure if we paraded him around in this condition it would only infuriate Snow even more so how are we going to handle this?" Katniss voices a little louder.

"Well for now let him recover. Then we go home to prep before our festivities in the square later, I'll have a word with your mother. We might be able to come up with some sort of sedative that might help counteract the poison's effects. Though odds are you won't want to use it unless absolutely necessary or he's liable to fall asleep in the middle of dinner." Haymitch says as they enter my room. I glance at Haymitch before my eyes make their way to Katniss. Her eyes are stormy and rimmed in red, her face puffy. She looks like an absolute mess and I wonder if she's been crying the entire time I've been asleep.

"Hi," I offer but it comes out more of a croak. Haymitch picks up the glass of water to give me a sip. I pull myself up into a sitting position and start rubbing the crick I have in my neck. "How long have I been sleeping?" I can't help but yawn.

"All day, it's nearly dinner." Haymitch answers. "You feel up for some food?"

Food sounds anything but appetizing but I know I need to eat if I ever want to get my strength up and get out of this bed.

"Sure, I could eat little." The words are barely out of my mouth before Katniss heads for the door.

"Good, I'll go and fetch you some, I'll be right back." And with that she's gone. I cast a questioning glance to Haymitch.

"She needs something to do." He says, "She's been driving herself nuts just sitting next to you just watching you sleep, she never was patient. " After a brief pause he sighs and says "She blames herself for this kid."

I nod because I know Katniss and I knew she would make this out to be her fault. "I figured she'd do that."

"In a way I guess it's my fault more than anything." Haymitch says and he looks anguished. "If I had just let her tell you the truth about everything or even if I had told you myself you'd have never..." He's unable to finish and I'm shocked that he's fighting back tears.

"Hey it's alright, what's done is done. You thought you were doing the right thing, you didn't ask for this to happen. This is Snow. I don't want to hear you or Katniss say anything different. And I'm not dead yet you two act like you're in mourning."

Haymitch offers a little chuckle at that. "Sit up, let's fix your pillows." He fluffs the pillows and repositions them.

"What are you my nurse maid now?" I ask with a grin.

"Don't push it." He answers back with no real bite.

I'm happy that we seem to have slipped back into our more comfortable routine and he's quit treating me like a person knocking on death's door. I'm just settling back in to my pillows when Katniss returns with a tray with an array of food. She sets it down gently on my lap.

"Try the soup first, small bites, and let's see if you can keep it down before moving onto something heavier, okay?" She perches on the side of the bed. I take few small sips and the soup is warm and flavorful. She places the back of her hand to my face and to my head. "Jesus Peeta you feel like you just stepped out of a furnace."

I can't help but smile at the feeling of déjà vu I'm feeling. "I feel cold though."

"What's so funny?" She asks, I think she fears that I'm going round the bend.

"Doesn't this situation seem familiar to you?" I ask with some mirth.

She thinks for a minute before suppressing a smile. "Yea I guess it does. I'm always taking care of you Mellark."

"That's the way I like it." I joke, but inside I feel like I'm dying. I should be the one taking care of her. I feel like such an invalid, a poor excuse of a man.

I try to take small bites of soup and I'm surprised when I manage to empty the bowl. I slowly nibble on crackers and so far I seem to manage to keep it all down. I'm happy for the company and I just listen to Haymitch and Katniss banter back and forth.

When I'm done with the food Katniss sets the tray aside and settles down on my other side. "Okay now we've got to discuss what's coming up in twelve." Haymitch starts. I'm not sure when he became such a responsible chaperone or leader but I'm willing to let him handle things for a while.

"Okay, so what have you two come up with?" I ask looking from him to her.

"Well," Katniss starts off slowly. "Nothing much so far. We were trying to just see how you felt when you woke up. "

I nod in approval before Haymitch continues. "We'll need to keep up appearances that all is well with you Peeta. We don't want word getting back to Snow that you were any less than perfect, otherwise there is no telling what he might do."

"Okay. I think I'll be able to handle it." I offer.

"You can't let yourself get excited no matter what." Katniss exclaims. "No running, no dancing, and be careful we can't risk you getting hurt because that might do the same thing." She continues on unable to make eye contact with me.

"What will people say if I'm not dancing?" I ask.

"We'll tell them that your leg is a little sore from all the dancing in the district and you're under doctor's orders to give it a rest." Haymitch decides. It's rather a stroke of genius if I do say so myself.

"Okay, now that we've figured out that mess, what are we doing long term?" I ask.

"Long term?" Katniss asks.

"I mean outside of tomorrow what's the plan?"

"The plan is, we have no plan." Haymitch sighs into his hands. "We're going to have to take this one step at a time and we're going to have to be careful with how we proceed. We don't want anyone else getting hurt."

I shiver both from the fever raging through me and from fear. I can't stand the thought of anyone else coming to harm for this. "I understand."

"Peeta how can you possibly be cold? Really! You are making me sweat!" Katniss scolds in attempt to lighten the heavy mood of the room.

Haymitch stands and heads hastily to the door, "Be right back."

I look at Katniss who just shrugs. "Maybe he needs a drink; I don't think he's had more than a taste since last night." I feel drowsy after getting something in my stomach and I wrap myself around Katniss trying to warm myself so that I can sleep but the shivering is wracking through my body in deep uncontrollable shudders. My teeth are even chattering.

"This is is is ri- ri- ridiculous," I chatter out.

Katniss rubs her hand up and down my arm attempting to rub some warmth back into me. "Shh…" she sooths.

Haymitch bounds back into the room proudly but he carries not a bottle of liquor but a bottle of pills.

"I told Effie you had a fever and you'd come down with something. She offered me these!" He says in delight. He tosses the bottle towards me but I can't really read or catch the bottle with my shaking so Katniss picks them up off the bed where they've landed.

"What are they?" She asks somewhat wearily.  
"They are pills that help with fever, pain, headaches or what not." Haymitch smiles. "They might just help bring down that fever and help a bit with the aches. It's not a permanent solution but it might help get us through for a few days."

Katniss plops two round pills into her palm and closes the bottle. She stands and places it on the nightstand and then retrieves my water. "Open," She commands and I obey. She places the two pills on my tongue and then offers some water. "There, let's see if that helps."

She comes back around and snuggles in besides me. She puts her arms around me and I lay on her chest. She soothingly strokes my hair and rubs my arm intermittently and before I know it sleep seems to be pulling me under.

In my sleep deprived and sickly addled mind I whisper "I love you Katniss. Thanks for taking care of me" before I plunge into the darkness. It might have been wishful thinking or my imagination but I think she may have even whispered it back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Take It Easy**

The pills must have done the trick because I sleep until Katniss shakes me awake. "Peeta, c'mon you've got to get up now. We're home."

I groggily pull myself to the land of the living and rise out of bed. I'm shocked to notice I'm still wearing my dress shirt and pants from the capital. My tongue is glued to the inside of my mouth with a nasty taste. I greedily gulp the water down that was on the bedside table and it helps measurably. I move to get clean clothes out of the drawer when Katniss rests her hand on mine.

"Don't worry about that now Peeta. We can get you something later. You can go home and get cleaned up now." She thrusts a long coat to me instead and I pull it on as we make our way to the door. This time around no crowd has assembled in anticipation of our arrival and I am thankful for small miracles. Haymitch is waiting for us and he nods in our direction.

"How you feelin boy?"

"I'm alright so far. Fever seems to have burned through." The doors burst open and I'm immediately blasted with a breeze of arctic air. I pull my coat tighter around me in an attempt to ward it off. Katniss loops her arm through mine and we make our way off the train and out into town. There is no car to offer us a ride back to Victor's Village so we walk slowly through town. We stop to rest near the square and Katniss holds my hand, my heart nearly leaps for joy only to slow in disappointment when I see she is only checking my pulse.

"Calm down Peeta, take some big breaths." I sigh in disappointment and take a few minutes to slow myself down. I look towards the bakery and see the lights are all on and I can't help but long to be back inside it. It takes twice as long for us to make the trip home and I'm starting to realize how bad this could be. In the event of an emergency I'd never be able to run, I'd be crippled by pain, unable to escape. The thought scares me but I try not to dwell on it because fear could bring on a fit too.

I let myself in my house and look around, nothing has changed. "You can go on home now Katniss, Haymitch. I'll be okay. I'll just get cleaned up and relax until you come and get me later for the party." I see Katniss and Haymitch glance at each other before nodding and heading towards the door.

"Please call me if you need anything Peeta." She says softly as she closes the front door, I let out a deep breath.

Alone at last, I head to my bathroom to shower and I must stand there for ages because the hot water eventually turns tepid before it runs out. I dry off and dress in my boxers and sleep pants. For the first time in ages I take off my fake leg and it feels odd but more comfortable at the same time. I lay down in the bed for a while just to rest my eyes and am startled awake sometime later by the jingling of the phone. Thankfully it's not enough to set me off into another fit. I reattach my leg and limp to the phone.  
"Lo?" I offer gruffly into the receiver.

"Peeta, were you sleeping?" Katniss questions. "You'd better get dressed we need to leave for the square so we can get there a little early."

I catch her meaning. We need to leave so my slow ass can get there on time. "Okay, Katniss. Yes I was sleeping but I'll be dressed and meet you by the walk in a few minutes. "

She hangs up the phone without as much as a goodbye. She never did like talking on them. I begrudgingly pull out some black slacks and a white button up shirt. I run a comb through my hair and call it good. I retrieve my jacket off the chair in the kitchen and grab a set of gloves, a hat and some black shoes from the closet. After I rest a moment and put on my shoes I exit the front door to meet Katniss. All in all I think I've made fairly good time but she is already waiting on my porch.

"How are you doing?" She asks.

Inwardly I cringe. Is this all anyone is ever going to ask me again? Already I'm sick of it, but I know she means well so I bite my retort back. "I'm fine." She moves forward with a vile and places it in my coat pocket. I raise an eyebrow in question.

"Sleep syrup." She replies, "It's the best we could come up with on such short notice. I think you should take a sip every hour or so… just in case, you never know, it could help."

"Okay" I try not to think of what might happen if it doesn't help. We set off in silence and she doesn't say much. "Are you okay?" I ask her, "You're awfully quiet."

She says nothing for a few more steps. "I'm scared that's all. I can't see you like that again."

"Like what?" I ask.

She pulls me to a stop. "To see you look like you wish you were dead, to see you so vulnerable and in so much pain. I'd give anything to make it go away." She sniffs at the end.

I pull her to a stop and turn to look at her. I tilt her chin to look me in the eye. "Katniss I'd rather it was me than anyone else. The real punishment would have been seeing you hurt." She pulls me down into a soft kiss and I start to deepen it before I hear Haymitch clear his throat.

"Take it easy kids." He doesn't seem to be joking either. We pull apart and slowly continue on our trek to town.

We arrive with some time to spare and we scope out the justice building and the square that are alight with lights, decorations and the smell of food. We make note of exits, hiding spots or any potential problems. Mayor Undersee comes to speak with us before hand to brief us on the schedule as people begin to assemble.

I take deep breaths and calm myself as I give my speech. I just focus on the words coming out and on nothing else. I sigh in relief as I make it off the stage without an episode. At least I've made it through that part I think. A quick look around to make sure no one is looking and I take a sip of sleep syrup while Katniss delivers her final address. The stuff is bitter, and reminds me of black licorice. It makes me feel light headed and tired and I really just want to lie down and sleep some more.

Katniss joins me and probes me with her intense stare. "Did you.." she starts but I lean in and kiss her on the cheek before whispering in her ear.

"Yes dear I took my medicine. I'm fine." She giggles as my breath tickles her ear. I catch site of Gale glaring at us as he, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim make their way over to us. I take a deep breath and brace myself.

"Mom, Prim" Katniss chirps, "Gale." She adds and she casts a worried glance from him to me. I squeeze her hand in reassurance.

"You did great Katniss" Prim encourages. I don't know if she's been made aware of the situation but she seems to be casting glances my way more than usual.

Katniss leans in and whispers to her mother. I'm not sure what they are whispering about but Mrs. Everdeen nods and then pulls Gale and Prim off, "We'd better get our seats for dinner." She smiles and waves to me, "Good to see you Peeta."

"C'mon Peeta, "Katniss pulls me in the direction of the head table. "Let's get you off your feet before you fall asleep standing here."

I oblige because there is no point in fighting the inevitable. I sit between Haymitch and Katniss and slowly nibble my food, hopefully concealing how little I'm able to actually eat. The music starts up as the sun sets and the stars start to make an appearance and people began to dance. It isn't long before Katniss is asked to dance. She squeezes my thigh in reassurance before she disappears. Haymitch moves to go find more refreshments and I'm left to myself. Mayor Undersee strolls up to my table, "How come you're not out there cutting a rug with your lady?"

"My leg's a bit sore from all the dancing at the capital." I offer with a fake smile plastered to my face.

"Tsk. What a shame. Well I do hope you enjoy the rest of your night Mr. Mellark." He nods his top hat my way and leaves me on my own.

I'm attempting to keep my eyes open when I catch a glimpse of Katniss dancing in the square. I smile a bit because she seems to be truly enjoying herself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Gale make a beeline for her and I instantly retrieve my bottle of sleep syrup from my pocket and down it in one gulp. Nothing good will come of me seeing the outcome of this interaction. I make my way from our table and slowly start heading out of the square. I've nearly made it and I feel myself slack with relief when I hear a snide comment, "I see your whore hasn't changed her ways," It's my mother.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Hello Mother." I say with a slight slur in my voice. It seems that the sleep syrup that I just downed in my haste is starting to take effect. I hope it has enough power to get me through this encounter but I've never had much good luck in my life.

She emerges from the shadows of the tree she was standing under, I want to run but know that I can't. "Tsk, slurring your words Peeta? You're following right in those old drunk's footsteps." She laughs to herself as she stops a foot in front of me. I glance hastily about to see if anyone notices the predicament I'm in but I'm too far removed from the party for anyone to see. "Whatever is the matter dear? You wouldn't be afraid of your dear old mum now would you?" Her tone is menacing and I can't help but wonder where the hell Haymitch or Katniss are or if they've noticed I've gone. I should have stayed and endured watching Gale flirt with Katniss.

"What do you want mother?" When she doesn't offer me a reply I move to walk past her, "I'll just be on my way then." She holds up her hand and pushes me back to where I was previously standing. I stumble a little, the effects of the syrup only emphasizing my drunken appearance.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" She spits. "It seems to me that after all the trouble I went through of putting a roof over your head and food on the table that you could return the favor." She is emphasizing her words with the sharp tip of her finger again. When I give her a questioning glance she smacks me upside the head "You've got more money than you'll ever need… and no one to spend it on but you. Dumbass! What the hell else do you think I want?"

My head smarts a little but my thoughts are slow and confused. It takes me a moment to catch up to what she's demanding from me, money. I should have known. She always was accustomed to a better lifestyle before settling with my father and I know she's always resented having to work for her money. I take a deep breath before I continue, "We'll talk about this some other time mother, I'm not really feeling all that well."

I'm just past her when I hear her spurt out "You ungrateful little shit," and I feel a blow across my back, the ground comes rushing up to meet my face too quickly for me to brace myself. After a moment I seem to come to, I'm not sure if I've been knocked unconscious or simply fallen asleep, I attempt to roll over when I receive a swift kick in the stomach. I try to suck in air but it's been completely knocked out of me. I haven't even begun to recover when I feel another blow against my ribs. I'm about to admit defeat and just curl myself into a fetal position when I hear drunk laughter of a couple nearby. My mother must hear it too because the blows stop and when I bring myself to look, she's gone.

As much as the blows have stung it seems my overdose of sleep syrup seems to have done the trick, or perhaps my body was able to neutralize the poison. I'm mulling over this happy thought as I drag my sorry ass back into Victor Village. It seems to have taken me an eternity to make it this far, forcing myself to take one step at a time. I lean against the sign to rest for a moment before I eventually I let myself into my house but I'm too tired to drag myself up the stairs and instead opt for the couch. I hastily pull a blanket around me and I think my eyes close before my head hits the pillows.

I'm not sure if minutes have passed or hours, I feel like I've been dreaming forever when I'm accosted by my latest nightmare. This time someone shoves me and I'm falling off of a ledge and immediately I'm immersed in an overwhelming sense of pain. The hot knives are back and they are stabbing me everywhere repeatedly. I think I can safely answer the question as to whether or not the poison still pumps through my veins and it hasn't been diluted one little bit.

When the episode recedes I find I'm lying on the floor, my legs tangled hopelessly in my blanket. The floor feels cold on my sore cheek and I don't know if it's from my recent altercation with my mother or from the latest fit I've had. I just sigh despondently and decide that I'm never going to bother moving from my spot. I feel completely depressed and the despair makes it difficult to breathe. I'm not one for crying but I feel telltale prickle of tears behind my eyes.

How can anyone expect to go on from something like this, it's hopeless! I think to myself. I've lost my father and my brothers to that witch of a woman, the woman I love may very well be in love with someone else and I can't even run without suffering from this stupid poison. I'm starting to travel down the dark path of thoughts I had before the victory tour that it might have been in everyone's best interest, my own included, if I hadn't been pulled from the arena alive. Maybe I can just stay here until I waste away, I think. I shudder at this thought as it's eerily similar to the nightmare I had on the train.

I'm brought from my musing by a loud rap on the door. "Peeta?" I hear Katniss's voice and she sounds out of breath. "Peeta are you in there? Open up!" She raps again.

I hear muffled curse words as Haymitch reaches my door too. I hear a jingle of keys and the turn of the handle. I don't even bother to announce my location. They'll stumble on me eventually. I hear Katniss take the stairs two at a time and her announcement to Haymitch, "He's not up here!" I hear a few other doors bang open as they look for me. "Haymitch where is he?" she sounds close to hysterics.

I try to call out to them but I can't seem to make my voice cooperate. "I promised I wouldn't leave him alone and that's exactly what I've done!" She's crying in earnest now. I can see the top of Haymitch's head and I try to clear my throat again. I must have succeeded in making some noise this time because he starts and comes around the sofa.

"Peeta." My name barely leaves his lips before Katniss is over top of me. All I can do is look up at her grey eyes and stare in wonder.

"Oh my god, Peeta." She sobs. I must really look to be in a sorry state because she looks like she wants to touch my face but she can't seem to find a safe place to touch me. "What happened? I saw you one minute and the next you were gone. I tried looking for you in the crowds but I couldn't find you."

I take a deep breath and just shake my head. "Water" I croak. Haymitch returns a few seconds later with a glass of water. I sit up and lean heavily against the sofa with my back. I take the glass in shaking hands and take a long drink of water.

I almost spit it out when I feel her hand start caressing my arm up and down. I set the glass on the coffee table and look at Haymitch and then back to Katniss before settling my eyes on the floor. "I saw Gale and you on the dance floor," She looks like she wants to say something but I hold my hand up to ward her off. "I knew regardless of whatever happened between you two it would have got me too worked up so I downed the bottle of sleep syrup."

"All of it?" Haymitch asks. I simply nod in response.

"Then what?" Katniss asks. She still hasn't stopped her gentle caress of my arm and I take comfort in the light touch.

"I ran into my mother." I deadpan. "She wants me to give her money." I offer hoping to detract from the results of the altercation.

"So she hit you?" Haymitch' s eyebrows raise in question. He never misses a thing it would seem.

I nod "Well sorta, might have been in a slap in there, a shove, a few kicks."

Katniss stifles a gasp. "Oh Peeta."

"I don't really remember too much of it. I managed to drag myself back here half asleep and I fell asleep on the couch. And then..." I stop not really wanting to finish.

"And then what?" Kantiss asks.

"And then I had a nightmare which resulted in feeling a thousand stabbing knives." After a brief pause I finish lamely "I woke up on floor not a few minutes before you got here." I leave out the morbid thoughts that followed my rude awakening.

Katniss has her fingers laced through mine and I take my other hand and rub away the tears that hang on her cheeks. She covers my hand with hers and starts to cry even harder.

"Hey, Katniss, shhh.." I scoot closer to her and bring her head to my chest and put my arms around her in attempt to get her to stop. I'm kind of scared by her reaction. "Hey I'm okay, it's alright."

"It's all my.. my fault." She manages to choke out.

"No its not it just happens, okay? Shitty luck is all." I try to appease her. After a few more minutes she collects herself and Haymitch who has been sitting silently in the corner moves to help me off the floor.

"C'mon kid let's get you next door and get you taken care of." I sigh in acceptance. They won't leave me alone until I do.

Mrs. Everdeen is ready and waiting for me in her living room with an array of supplies. Katniss guides me to my seat and then excuses herself.

I smile at Mrs. Everdeen and give her a questioning look at her supplies. "I had a feeling you'd be in some sort of trouble again." She smiles trying to lighten the mood and I appreciate her effort.

"Well you know me." I offer with a smile. Haymitch retires to the easy chair and starts to doze off. Mrs. Everdeen helps me out of my dirty clothes and wraps a blanket around me. I feel exposed sitting here with just my boxers and a blanket but she doesn't bat an eye. She dabs my face with a cloth and cleans me up, applying ointment and a butterfly bandage or two. She has the eye of a healer though and she continues on with the exam and she can't miss the large bruise that covers the left half of my chest. Her deft fingers run gently over me and I suck in a breath as she passes over a particularly sensitive spot.

"Does that hurt?" She asks and I know there is no use denying it. I nod but say nothing. She retrieves a bruise cream and rubs it gently on the bruise. "Might of cracked a rib or bruised it, that should help some." I see her nod to someone over my head and Katniss reemerges with some new clothing for me. Some clean pants and shirt.

"I went back to your room and got you something to where." She stands and nervously shifts her weight from foot to foot. Mrs. Everdeen excuses herself to the kitchen.

"Thanks." I slip the shirt on but not before she catches site of the bruise on my side, her eyes widen like saucers. I slide the pants on next before I look back at her. She fixes a pillow and pulls me down to it. She covers me with a blanket and then sits on the floor next to me. We just stare at each other neither of us knowing what to say. I can't deny that this situation seems bleak. Her fingers find their way to my hair and she softy tangles her fingers in the curls.

"I want to know what is going on behind those eyes Peeta. What are you thinking?" She whispers to me, our heads are nearly touching.

"No you really don't." I tell her.

"Please." She places a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm thinking that I'm not living anymore, not really. You deserve someone who can actually live Katniss." There is no point in saying his name; she knows who I'm referring to.

"Stop." She places her fingers to my mouth. "Just stop." She leans in and places a warm kiss on my lips. "For your information I told Gale that I was with you Peeta, I'm not going anywhere. " I stare at her unsure if I believe the words coming from her lips. "We'll figure something out."

"Why are you doing this?" I ask

"Because I love you Peeta." And she leans in and kisses me with urgency.

I smile after that and she can't help but look at me in question. "What's so funny?"

"Déjà vu again." I offer nearly chuckling.

She giggles a bit and snuggles her head next to me. "I'm always saving your ass Mellark."

And for once I don't care that she's the one saving me and not the other way around. All I know is that Katniss Everdeen is in love with me and that's all that matters.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

A Family

I wake up achy and sore on the Everdeen couch. Katniss is splayed across the floor next to me but her hand is still entwined with mine. I watch her lying there and as if she can feel my eyes on her she opens her grey eyes and stares right back at me. I can't help the smile that creeps over my face and she follows suit. She stands and stretches out the kinks from her body and lightly places a kiss on my cheek. "Morning" she whispers. "I'm going to go get changed see you in a bit."

I take that as my queue to head back home and clean up. I try to munch on a little toast after I'm dressed and I'm surprised when I managed to eat two pieces. I try to think of what to do next but I'm saved from my indecision by a knock on the door.

I open the door to a smiling Katniss. "It's a beautiful day for a walk."

I lean out the door and look at the snow drifts and the blustery wind and I think she's lost her mind. I look at her face and she raises an eyebrow at me. She is definitely up to something. I retrieve my boots and coat and follow her without a word. I'm surprised that she leads me to her back yard by the trees. There are already a few people gathered and when we get close enough I recognize Haymitch' s posture as well as Mrs. Everdeen's petite frame.

"What's going on?" I ask, my breath coming out with plumes steam.

"We're working on some ideas for the long term." Katniss loops her arm in mine and leans her head against my shoulder.

"Oh." Is all I'm able to mutter.

"I've been going through my books, the old apothecary ones and the ones I've made over the years to look for treatments of poison." Mrs. Everdeen begins, "Of course this isn't a normal natural poison it's a capital engineered one but some of the solutions might help improve your situation Peeta."

I sit down heavily on the picnic table and Katniss follows. "We have to keep this on the down low Peeta; Snow can't know that we're doing anything." Haymitch speaks at last.

I nod to him in understanding. I don't think I could bare it if any of them came to harm for helping me. "What have we got so far?" I ask trying to keep the tremor from my voice.

"Well this is just a start from the reading I did last night," Mrs. Everdeen begins and I notice the dark circles under her eyes. I feel a pang of guilt as I realize what she was doing after she cleaned me up. "We can try treating it with some herbs, there's burdock root, Echinacea, red clover, dandelion root… of course this time of year we won't be able to get all of them, there's capital drugs that help with contamination of blood but I don't know if we can risk trying to get our hands on them or even how effective they would be in this situation, and then there are other riskier ways."

I look to her and meet her blue eyes when I ask, "What are the riskier ways?"

She swallows nervously "Well… there is a blood transfusion, there's also a type of bypass machine that pulls all the blood from you and circulates it in a machine and then cleans it out before putting it back into you."

Katniss clasps my hand in hers almost painfully. "What does a blood transfusion involve?" She asks as I look at her wide eyes and tuck a stray strand of hair of her ear. I find it easier to watch her than to look at anyone else at the moment.

"We remove Peeta's blood with donated blood." Mrs. Everdeen responds.

"I'll do it." Katniss says without hesitation. I shake my head at her.

"No, it sounds dangerous. I'm not going to let you." I whisper.

"You'd do the same for me? Wouldn't you?" She asks her grey eyes staring up at me in earnest.

This time it's Haymitch' s chuckle that pulls us out of the tension.

"What's so funny?" Katniss snaps.

"I think you two have played those lines out before." He smiles and I can't help but laugh as I realize he's right.

"That's the third time that's happened." I look at Katniss who is trying hard to keep the smile off her face.

"Alright so back to the task at hand," I say trying to return to the somber topic of treatment, "I'm sure there's more to it than draining someone else of their blood." I nod to Mrs. Everdeen for the details.

"Well you have to have the right blood type and you'd either need a bank of blood or you'd need more than one volunteer."

We all stop to ponder this. We don't want to involve anyone more than we need to.

"We could always collect some a little at time and store it. Couldn't we?" Katniss asks. "That way you'd have one donor but you wouldn't drain them of all their blood."

Mrs. Everdeen is nodding, "That's good Katniss."

"Okay so that's one treatment option," Haymitch says, "What is the bypass thing?"

"That's a little more risky. You essentially hook up Peeta through his carotid artery and a femoral artery and you pump the blood through a machine that essentially scrubs the blood clean."

"Sounds like fun." I offer though my tongue seems to have grown twice its normal size.

"Where would you even get a machine like that?" Haymitch asks.

"District 4," Mrs. Everdeen surprises us with a reply. We all turn to her in question so she elaborates. "They have a small hospital there; a lot of their equipment is more historical artifact than anything. I've seen them there before I was married. We have family there, or at least we did."

"That won't be easy to get ahold of." Haymitch turns to lean against the back fence.

"No not easy, but not impossible." Mrs. Everdeen replies.

"So I guess we start with the transfusion and see if that helps?" I ask.

Mrs. Everdeen nods her head. "Yes we can work on that but I think it couldn't hurt to start you on some burdock root and some Echinacea. We can get both of those."

"Okay, I can do that."

"How do we find out our blood types?" Katniss asks. I look at her and run my gloved finer against her cheek. I know she is hoping she has my blood type and inside I'm hoping she doesn't. I won't ask this of her.

"It's just a simple test a few drops of a solution really." She pulls out her pocket some strips of paper and some sealed needles. I swallow thickly; I never really was fond of needles.

A few jabs of a needle later and our blood drops are smeared on the papers. "I'll test these and see what I find out." Mrs. Everdeen stands to make her way back to the house, "In the meantime Peeta why don't you get what you need from your house and join us at ours tonight? We can start treating you with the herbs and go from there."

I nod and begin to stand and stretch my cold legs out. "If we need to speak anything about this remember to do it out of the house I'm sure the houses are bugged." Haymitch tells us. I'm not surprised and I'm not sure why we didn't assume so sooner.

"Katniss can you go out and find some burdock root? We'll need to boil it down." Mrs. Everdeen asks Katniss. I don't like the thought of her going out into the woods alone in this weather but I won't voice my disapproval.

"Sure, I'll go get changed now." She offers me a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight Peeta" and with that and she's off and running.

It's a little after sunset when I head back to the Everdeen's and I'm standing on the front porch afraid to knock. My heart is starting to pick up speed and I'm honestly terrified I'm going to end up with another spell. Before I can worry too much the door is thrust open and Prim bounds out to great me, "Peeta!" She nearly squeals with excitement. She takes me by the hand and pulls me in the door. She's taking my coat and my bag before I can say a word. My heart starts to return to its slower rhythm.

"I'll take your things to your room." She says before she bounds off with my belongings.

"My room?" I ask to the room at large.

"Yes your room." Mrs. Everdeen answers. "I couldn't very well let you continue to sleep on the couch." I smile and feel a little bit relieved. Not too long ago I wanted to stay here to just combat the loneliness I felt and now it seems I've gotten my way, though the price I've paid has been dear.

"Have you had dinner?" She asks me.

I shake my head, "No ma'am."

"C'mon right this way, we're just about to sit down. I'd like to see you get something in your stomach." She doesn't need to imply why.

I find the smell of stew envelops my senses and my mouth begins watering. Katniss snakes her arms around my waste and nuzzles my neck. "Hi Peeta, how you feeling?" She whispers.

"Alright." I say but I can't help but the tremor that comes out with it. She squeezes me tighter and kisses my cheek.

I eat a bowl of soup and I just sit and enjoy the family banter between the three Everdeen girls, about halfway through dinner Haymitch bounds in and slides into a chair without a word. I look around the table and realize that the Everdeen's seem to have adopted me and Haymitch into their little family. We are a weird little family but that's what we are I think. A family.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**If at First You Don't Succeed**

_A/N: Chapter 14, wow that was fast. I have a great idea of where this will go and I'm hoping to get more action in the next upcoming chapters. No telling if I will get a chance to write this weekend but I will give it a shot. I hope you are all enjoying this!_

After dinner Katniss shows me my room and adjoining bathroom. I see Prim has already seen to my belongings and they are stowed away in their proper place. Katniss points out her room which is directly across the hall. I smile at her and lace my fingers through hers. I'm happy she'll be close by. She tugs me back to the kitchen to begin what I hope will be treatment and not another method of torture.

I smell a strange pungent order as we return to the kitchen. Apparently the concoction is in a tea form. The small turns my weak stomach and I swallow down my nerves. This might help. I have to keep telling myself. Mrs. Everdeen pours the murky brown liquid into a large cup and sits it in front of me.

"Now Peeta you'll need to drink all of this and I need you to try to keep it down." She pushes a pad of paper over which she has scrawled on it. _It won't begin to work until you ingest it. _

I nod in understanding as I take my seat. Prim and Katniss have set up a board game to keep me company and hopefully to keep my mind off the task at hand. I take a sip of the hot liquid and force myself to swallow it. It's bitter and tastes like dirt or a sock or something equally nasty. I shudder as it slides down my throat. I force myself to drink two more sips before I jot down a note? _How long?_

"Now kids I want you in bed in _one hour_" Mrs. Everdeen responds. We all nod at her in understanding. I lock eyes with Katniss and take two more large gulps. Prim is sitting beside me as she and Katniss attempt at playing a game. I can't help but get drawn into her antics as she tries to beat Katniss. I swallow the last bit of the tea and rest my head in my hands… I'm fighting with every ounce of my being to keep the tepid liquid down. After a few moments Prim squeals in girlish delight at her victory and I feel a warm hand on my lower back.

Katniss has come around the table and is kneeling next to me and rubbing small circles on my back in an effort to comfort me. "Hey, let's get you to bed okay?" She asks and I can't help but think how young she sounds. I just nod, I'm sure if I open my mouth I'll be sick. She puts her arm around my waste and I put mine around hers and rest it on her hip. She leads me to my room and sits me down on the bed. She retrieves my pants and shirt from the drawer and motions for me to remove my shirt.

I comply and toss the old one to her. I can't help but smile inside when I see her try to avert her eyes from my chest but she can't seem to, a blush creeps up her cheeks. I slide the night shirt on and I feel Katniss tug off my shoes. She places them beside the nightstand and motions for me to change my pants. She turns and faces the door as I do so. I finally chance throwing up to speak, "I don't care if you see me naked Katniss."

She giggles and turns around, "That's the fourth time we've repeated ourselves." And I can't help but smile at her delight.

I've slid my night pants back up and I move to remove my leg but stop. I feel freakish without it and I'd rather not have everyone see my stump. I'm startled out of my reverie when I feel hands on my leg and see Katniss's nimble fingers unclasping my leg for me. "It's okay Peeta, I don't mind." To prove her point she lays the leg down next to the bed and folds my pants up before placing a soft kiss on my stub. "I love you the way you are." I feel a strong surge of emotion for this dark haired beauty standing in front of me.

She lays me back in the bed and covers me up. I can't help but love the care she is showing me. Someday I will return the favor I think, _I hope_. Mrs. Everdeen appears in the doorway with her tablet of paper. She takes my temperature, my blood pressure and my pulse and writes them all down. She turns the paper and lays the book out for us to read.

_None of us are the correct blood type._ And with just the one sentence I feel a sense of despair. Katniss takes the pen and writes, _We will keep looking!_ I nod to her and Mrs. Everdeen.

_This treatment might help some too._ Mrs. Everdeen writes. I nod and take the pen. _Tell Haymitch?_

"I already did." Mrs. Everdeen speaks aloud. "He's off wandering the town being an amicable drunk." I catch her point. He's already off asking other friends, I wish he wouldn't. I'd rather not pull anyone else into our circle of trouble.

"You should try and get some rest Peeta." Mrs. Everdeen continues as she makes her way to the door. "Don't stay up too late Katniss." She admonishes before she flicks the overhead light off by the door.

The lamp by the table still casts a soft orange glow as I try to get comfortable in the bed. Katniss sits perched on the side of my head push my hair off my face. I'm surprised when she leans down and captures my lips in hers before offering me a soft "Goodnight Peeta."

I don't know how long I lay in bed or if I've managed to sleep but I know that I see the moon in the sky before I start to shiver in an almost feverish way, my night clothes are drenched in sweet, my stomach churns like I'm going to be sick. I hear the door open and hear feet on the carpet but I don't want to roll over and face whoever it is.

"Peeta?" I hear Mrs. Everdeen's voice. She comes around the side of the bed and takes my temperature, feels my heart rate and takes my blood pressure.

"Mom?" I hear Katniss's voice sometime later.

"Get a cold wash cloth Katniss." After a moment I feel a cold cloth on my forehead.

I can't help but think I'm going to throw up and it's as if Mrs. Everdeen has read my mind. She places a bucket in front of me and I heave into it. Oh how I wish Katniss wasn't here to see this. She surprises me though by wiping my mouth with another cloth. I lean into her for support and she wraps her arms around me and soothingly strokes my arm. Katniss and Mrs. Everdeen stare at each other and it seems they are having a conversation without words that I'm not privy to.

"I think the worst is over for tonight Peeta." Mrs. Everdeen leans in and whispers. I nod as I shiver into the blankets. She surprises me by giving me a soft kiss on my forehead before leaving us alone.

"Sleep Peeta." Katniss whispers, "I'm not going anywhere."

And I do sleep, I sleep like I did on the train and its well into the afternoon before I wake up. I feel slightly weak but other than that I'm okay. I'm slightly disappointed that I woke alone but I couldn't expect her to sit with me all day. After I shower and dress I feel slightly human again. I make my way downstairs to find everyone having lunch. They all look up as I enter.

"Hungry?" Mrs. Everdeen smiles over at me. I offer her a smile in return.

"Famished" I say as I make my way to sit next to Katniss.

She lays two sandwiches and on my plate as well as a glass of milk. I can't remember having an appetite like this in some time; I'll take that as a good sign.

After I finish Mrs. Everdeen asks everyone to take a walk with her. I wonder what she's found out. We dress warmly though it's not as cold today. Prim tags along with us so I assume she's been let in on our little secret.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"We found someone for the transfusion." Mrs. Everdeen offers with a smile. I look from person to person trying to gather a clue.

Haymitch looks nervous and Katniss won't meet my eyes.

"Who?" I ask and my voice comes out a little gruff.

When neither Katniss nor Haymitch answer Mrs. Everdeen responds, "Gale Hawthorne."

Within a space of two heart beats I'm hit with another adrenaline attack. It drops me to my knees in agony but I take some comfort in the fact that I'm able to maintain consciousness and a coherence of my whereabouts even if the voices around me are muffled and I can't understand what they are saying. I'm hoping that means the herb treatment was at least minimally effective.

I catch my breath after some time and rock back on to my heels and stand shakily to my feet. I take Katniss's arm as she helps me stand and I lean heavily against her.

"Peeta?" She asks questioningly.

"The tea seems to have helped some." I ignore the plea in Katniss's voice. I'm not okay with Gale Hawthorne giving me is his blood, to have it pumping through my veins. I'm really not.

"We can do a few treatments of the tea a week." Mrs. Everdeen says quietly. "We don't want to overdo it because too much of the herbs themselves can act like a poison if overdone."

I nod to her to let her know I understand. "I've already made arraignments with Gale, Peeta." Haymitch begins. "He knows the situation and he's willing to help."

"No." I close my eyes and shake my head because I'm fighting the nausea as well as my spinning vision. I hear him sigh in anger.

"Please Peeta? For me?" Katniss asks. I look down and see tears spilling down her cheeks.

"God damn it" I curse under my breath. "Okay fine! But I am paying him back somehow! I don't want to owe him for this." Katniss immediately wraps her arms around me and squeezes. I give a small yelp of pain and she immediately loosens her hold on me and looks chagrined.

"C'mon let's get you in the house so you can rest." I lean into her and she leads my back to the house. She leads me home.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Episodes**

_A/N: I didn't get an opportunity to think all weekend and definitely not to write. This week is shaping up to be close to impossible. I'm attempting to get this one cranked out today and hopefully another before the weekend. I hope everyone is enjoying the direction this is headed._

It's different living with people. There are always sounds and muffled conversations and things are infinitely less lonely. The day following my last episode in the snow Gale makes his first appearance. I hide in my room to avoid the situation. It might seem coward like but I cannot hide my feelings on the subject. I do not want to induce another adrenaline attack by seeing him drained of blood while he makes puppy eyes at Katniss. It's bad enough I can hear him make conversation with her and Prim and joke around like this is normal. I try to sleep so I don't think about what is going on in the living room. When that doesn't work I try to sketch but I find myself sketching Gale and Katniss together. I throw the pad across the room in anger. I dig the palms of my hands into my eyes as if I can wipe away the image from my mind. I try to measure my breaths and focus on anything else.

I must eventually doze off because I'm awoken by soft knock on the door. "Peeta?" I hear Mrs. Everdeen's voice. "It's time for dinner."

"Okay," I respond as I wipe the sleep from my eyes and sit up to stretch. "I'll be right down."

I splash some cold water on my face and then head down to the dinner table. Gale has stayed for dinner. Perfect. I pick my napkin up from my plate to see our familiar notepad.

_Tea tonight._ This night just keeps getting better and better. I nod my head to Mrs. Everdeen who sets the tea kettle on to warm while we eat. I stare at my plate and try to avoid eye contact with anyone. I know it might be rude but I just don't have it in me tonight. Gale seems happy enough to ignore me and focus all his attention on Katniss and Prim so I guess it all works out.

After dinner Mrs. Everdeen sets a mug of the tea in front of me while everyone else munches on some winter berries and cream from Prim's goat. I sigh and begin to take small sips of the tea. The taste hasn't improved any. I long for the smooth cream offset by the tartness of the berries but I know there is no sense wasting them. I will inevitably be spending my evening with the toilet bowl. I finish my tea and once again my stomach does its violent roll. I can't help but trying to fight the urge to be sick by repeatedly swallowing down the rising bile. It seems harder to hold it down today. Prim, Katniss and Gale retire to the living room for a card game, I see Katniss linger back and stare at me with some sympathy. "Want to come?" She finally asks.

That's the last thing I want to do. "No you go on. I'm going to call it a night." I spill out in between small breaths.

"Are you okay?" She moves forward and rests her cool hand on my sweaty forehead. "I'll get you settled."

"No Katniss, you go on. I'll be all right." I reply a little sharply. She gives me a hurt look and I feel the need to explain, "I don't like you seeing my like this, I could use… a little… privacy." I finish lamely.

She doesn't look happy but she nods and heads to the living room. "If you need anything…"

"I know I'll ask I promise Katniss. I'll be okay." I stand and slowly make my way back to my room. I don't know why I feel the need to be a martyr. I don't want her hanging with Gale but I don't want her with me if it's just because she feels sorry for me. I don't want to owe Gale for this favor that he's doing me; I just don't want to be sick!

I slip into my pajamas and pull a blanket and a pillow off the bed and take them with me to the bathroom. I lock my bedroom door and then pull the bathroom door closed too. I can do this on my own, no sense in burdening someone else with my problems now. I doze in between bouts of nausea and when I know I can fight it no longer I turn the shower on full blast to hopefully cover up the sound of my heaves. I throw up until my throat burns and there is nothing else. Each dry heave causing stabbing pains in my still sore chest. I shakily stand and fill a glass of water and rinse my mouth and sip some water. It comes right back up. I feel too weak and light headed to remain standing so I sit next to the toilet and lay on it for support.

Eventually I rise and turn off the running shower but not before I stick my head under the now ice cold water. Teeth chattering I make my way back to the bed with my blanket and pillow. I see the first colors of dawn streaking the sky and I give myself a pat on the back. I've made it, all through the night on my own. I can do this.

I don't know how long I sleep for but I still don't feel any stronger when I do wake up. I take a warm shower and dress, brush my teeth and head out to find out what everyone else is doing. The house is quiet, almost like being at home I tell myself. I find Mrs. Everdeen in the kitchen. "Good afternoon Peeta." She offers me a small smile.

"Lo." My voice is gruff no doubt from the amount of throwing up I did during the night. I sit heavily down in the chair and find I'm already tired again. Mrs. Everdeen immediately pulls a chair up next to me and begins taking my temperature and my blood pressure. She pulls on my cheeks, looks in my eyes and in my mouth.

"How do you feel?" She asks and I can't help but feel safe with her motherly tone.

"Just really tired" I offer. She makes a note in her notebook.

"Are you hungry?" She asks hopefully but I answer with a shake my head. I couldn't eat if I tried.

She stands and gets a glass of water and some of the pills Effie gave me on the train. She plops two in my hand and motions for me to take them.

"Where is everyone?" I ask somewhat hurt by the emptiness of the house.

"Prim is back to school, it's Monday. And Katniss went with Gale before he starts his shift at the mines tonight."

I nod glumly catching her hint. She's off hunting with Gale. Mrs. Everdeen is scribbling me a note in her notebook.

_Enough tea for a few days it's why you feel so sick. _I nod in understanding and shiver a little. I don't want to go back to sleep but I don't know what to do with myself. I decide I might do with a bit of fresh air, maybe make some bread or paint some in my own house. I tell Mrs. Everdeen I'll be back for dinner and she gives me a sad smile.

It's chilly in my house so I light a fire in the hearth and warm up the oven. I decide to throw in some loaves quick and I quickly get lost in the routine. I pop two in the oven and set the timer and move on to make two more. With those rising I clean up the kitchen and wash everything and put it back to its proper place. I clean myself up and head to my paint room and sit in front of the easel. I can't seem to bring myself to paint. I hear the ding of the timer and I switch the loaves from the oven with the ones in the warmer. I wrap the ones from the oven in a towel and set off across the road to deliver them to Haymitch.

I knock but I'm not surprised when I don't get a response. "Haymitch?" I ask tentatively as I push open the door. He's passed out on the couch a book half open on his chest. I lay the warm bread on the coffee table within easy reach. I stoke his fire get him a glass of water and some aspirin and leave it with the bread on the table. I let myself back out of the house and I'm nearly jogging back to the house before I realize what I'm doing. I'm shocked and pleased that this hasn't brought about an episode. For as nasty as that tea made me feel when I first woke up it seems to have helped some.

I let myself back in the house just as the timer goes off for the remaining loaves of bread. I pull them hastily out of the oven and wrap them up in towels to keep warm. I retrieve some fresh clothes and throw in a load of dirty clothes in the wash. I feel on top of the world and not such an invalid, if only it could stay this way.

After my laundry is dried and folded I re-pack my bag and retrieve the loaves from the counter and head back to the Everdeen's. Mrs. Everdeen greats me as I return.

"You look like you're feeling better." She offers a small smile.

"Here is some bread." I offer and place them next to the soup she's cooking on the stove. "I feel much better, I've been doing all kinds of things I haven't done in a while."

"Don't overdo it now." She gives me a motherly look.

"I won't." I can't help the smile that seems to spread over my face.

Just then I hear the door bang open and in marches Katniss. She offers me a small smile when her eyes catch mine and she sets about cleaning up a few rabbits that she has in her game bag. She wraps them and puts them in the freezer for keeping. When she opens the fridge to get a drink I catch a glimpse of the container of blood. I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't want to think about it today.

Katniss sees my odd behavior and offers me a quirk of an eyebrow. I just smile in return and shrug. Prim arrives from school and I get drawn into a conversation with her about different teachers and her favorite classes. After a warm dinner with bread I find I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

I offer Katniss a one armed hug and a kiss on the cheek and I whisper good night in her ear. She's playing a game with Prim so I go along on my own.

I fall asleep quickly and easily truly, I'm fatigued from physical exertion for the first time in a while. I'm awoken sometime later by screams. My heart pounds and I feel a twinge run down me. I grit my teeth and just wait for it to pass, an adrenaline attack but not a bad one. I untangle myself from my sheet and shakily reattach my leg and limp off to Katniss. I'd know her screams anywhere. I don't bother with the lights and I slide in next to her and pull her to my chest. Eventually I know she's awake because she's sobbing and gripping my shirt with force.

I rub the small of her back and stroke her head and offer nonsense words of comfort. Eventually her sobs quiet and I only hear the occasional sniffle. "Thank you Peeta." She whispers in the dark.

"You take care of me all the time. I don't mind returning the favor." I smile into her hair. She pulls back and puts her hands on my face her grey stare intense and focused. She's giving me the once over.

"How are you feeling?" I can't help but wince as she turns my head. She gives me a knowing glare.

"I'm fine." I tell her. But she makes a growl that tells me she doesn't believe me. I say the first thing I can to try to change the subject and inevitably blurt out, "How's Gale?"

Her eyes narrow in anger. "What do you mean how's Gale?"

"Shit, um, that came out wrong." I stumble with my words, "I meant how is he ya know… after…" I try to give her a knowing look.

"Oh, OH!" She puts a hand to her mouth in embarrassment. She giggles a little and it's like music to my ears. "He's okay. Was a little tired after so we took care of him all day, extra food, water and some company." I think she is shooting me a look of disappointment but I can't be sure.

"That's good." I reply quietly. "When will he be back?" I can't meet her eyes now. I know it's my fault he'll be coming back on a regular basis but I can't help but think she looks forward to spending time with him.

"He'll be back again this weekend; we don't want to push it." She continues. "Another few weeks or so and we should be set."

I nod and swallow heavily. "That's good." I whisper. "C'mon you should get some sleep. " I tug her back to my chest. She doesn't disagree with me and I let her fall asleep in my arms. I fight sleep off as long as I can, it's not hard with the thoughts I have chasing away the sleep. I finally succumb to exhaustion just before dawn.

I can't help but fall into nightmares; one in particular is excruciatingly painful where I fall into a river of boiling water. I scream and try to flail out of the water but I'm unsuccessful. Eventually I hear a voice calling my name.

"Peeta! Peeta, it's just a dream, wake up!" I finally come to, the hot knives are still stabbing but they are slowly receding. My eyes are open but I'm unable to unlock my jaw. Her face is inches from mine, her fingers on my cheeks rubbing away the wetness. Her own tears fall down her cheeks unchecked.

"Oh my Peeta!" She sobs as she throws her arms around me. Even though I'm in a miserable amount of pain I can't help but feel a little elated at her choice of words. She wraps her arms around me and I don't want to move from this spot. Ever.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_A/N: The Hunger Games is owned by Susan Collins, I'm just dabbling in her genius for a bit. I hope you all are ready for the holidays! Here we are the announcement of the Quarter Quell. Read, review, and enjoy! I don't know if I'll have another opportunity to write before Christmas but I will try. I have an idea for a sequel to this already if this goes according to my plan!_

_**The Announcement**_

"One more visit should do it." Mrs. Everdeen tells us in a hushed voice in the backyard.

"And then what?" Haymitch asks.

"Then we'll have to do a makeshift transfusion." Mrs. Everdeen responds.

"The tea has been helping some but not enough." Katniss chimes in. I sit without saying much. I don't want to have to think, I'd rather let these three people decide what is best for me.

While they hash out the details I zone out, focusing on the softly falling snow flakes, on the chickadee bird that's flittering from branch to branch. I get up and follow them into the house when Katniss gives me a tug on the arm.

"Are you okay?" She asks me quietly.

"I'm fine." I answer back.

"I'm going to head into town in a little bit; would you like to come with me?" She asks somewhat hopefully.

I suppose I've been a bit lethargic and reserved these past few weeks, but this constant on edge thing has worn me down. It's just easier not to move, to not care or get excited. The pain still stabs, though not as strong as before leaving me feeling completely drained, I'd do anything to avoid it if possible. I know they're all worried about me but this is what I have to do to keep the pain at bay.

Her grey eyes seem to plead with me on their own accord and before I can help myself I'm nodding okay. She gives me a warm smile and tramps off to her room to change.

We head into town and she links her arm in mine and huddles against me to share my body heat. I always seem to have a least a mild fever so I could spare some body heat. We make small talk for a while and then fall into a comfortable silence. She stops after a bit and turns to me with her serious grey eyes, "If I asked you to run with me, escape into the woods, would you?"

I look down at her and don't even have to think before I answer, "Yes, I'd follow you anywhere Katniss." She looks taken aback by that statement. "But I know you won't go, you're too much of a fighter." She seems to be processing that as we get into town. There seems to be some commotion on the square, a group of people has congregated at the center. My heart plummets as I realize that's where the newly installed stockades are.

I stand on an overturned crate and catch my breath. Gale, whipped to shreds is hanging limply from the middle device. A limp turkey at his feet. "Katniss listen to me, you need to turn around and head home, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"No Peeta, what is it? What's going on?" When I don't answer her she begins to stubbornly shoulder her way through the crowd. She catches site of Gale and runs straight at him screaming his name to the heavens.

I don't recognize the new peacekeeper and Katniss pays no mind to him. "Step away from the criminal." He orders her. When she pays him no head he brings the whip down and it catches her across the face. She grabs her face in pain and shock. I slowly make my way forward and pull her hand down and look at her face, it's already welting fantastically. I turn to the peacekeeper and pull Katniss behind me. He raises his whip as if he means to strike me next.

"Wait, wait, stop!" I hear Haymtich's drawl as he comes to the front of the crowd. "Sweet Jesus, what have you done to her face?" He asks the peacekeeper. "She has a photo-shoot next week. How am I going to explain her marred face?"

I see the comprehension dawn on the peacekeeper's face as he looks from Katniss to me to Haymitch. "I.. I.. "

Haymitch nods his head towards me and then glances at Gale. I immediately set to work removing him from the stockades. He's limp but I can feel him taking shallow breaths. Someone produces a slab of wood and we lay him on it. When I look again the Peacekeeper seems to have disappeared in the crowd. A few mine workers offer to help me lug him back to the Everdeen's.

Upon our arrival Mrs. Everdeen assesses the situation and begins to set to work sending Prim to gather supplies out of various cupboards. Haymitch and I pull Katniss to a chair and press snow to her swollen face. I'm worried about her. She hasn't said a word since we found Gale. Her eyes are wet with tears and her breath is shaky as are her hands.

After a while Mrs. Everdeen comes into give us a prognosis. "He'll be okay I think. I've cleaned the wounds the best I can and I've put him in a snow pack. He'll have some recovery time but he will recover." Mrs. Everdeen kneels down to Katniss to examine her face. She pulls a bottle of ointment out and brushes some of the liquid onto the wound.

We try to get her up to bed to rest but she refuses and instead takes up a seat next to Gale's prone form. I feel bad that Gale is in such rough condition but I would be lying if I said I was comfortable with Katniss's reaction, she was handling my poisoning far better than this. I excuse myself from the crowded house and trek over to the other part of town to inform Mrs. Hawthorne on Gale's condition. After I slip the note to her I walk slowly back to my house and let myself in. I am too wired to sleep but I don't want to go back to the Everdeen's, so I do what I always do when things get tough, I bake. I make several loaves of bread, some cookies and even some cupcakes. After I shower and clean up I pack up my goods and trudge through the snow back to Katniss's side.

She's sleeping with her head on the table her hand clasped in Gale's hand. I lay the baked goods out on the table and kneel down in front of Katniss. "Katniss" I whisper shaking her shoulder gently. She starts and looks around before finding my gaze. "Go on upstairs and rest for a while, I'll sit with him." She looks at Gale with a sense of longing and then hastily plants a kiss on his cheek before standing and heading off to her room. She doesn't say a word to me or even give me a nod of thanks. I feel a bit of anger begin to burn at how I'm suddenly invisible.

It takes nearly a week before Gale is well enough to return home. It will be weeks before he can return to his job at the mines and even longer before he can even think about donating more blood. Katniss has come out of her shell some; she talks to everyone normally but me. She seems to have a hard time even looking at me no matter how often I try to catch her eye. I often find she runs out of the room when I enter it, making some lame excuse. It hurts but I try to give her space and not dwell on it. It's been nearly two weeks since my last adrenaline attack and I don't want to have one now.

Our prep teams arrive with their usual flourish and fashion to tape our reactions to the announcement of the Quarter Quell. My stomach knots at the thought of being in the spotlight again but even more so at the thought of the innocent children we will be forced to mentor after this announcement. After we've been successfully cleaned and painted and prodded we sit for a quick interview at Katniss's house on the sofa before they set up for the live announcement of the Quarter Quell. I hastily down a swallow of sleep syrup before they begin taping us during the announcement. I just hope it's enough.

Katniss has been giving me her fake smile and laugh all night and I'm rather tired of it. I thought that the pretend relationship was all behind us. The lights are dimmed and a set light is on us, the TV comes to life and the anthem of Panem is blared loudly through the speakers.

We fade to President Snow standing behind is infamous podium "Good Evening citizens of Panem. Tonight is a special night, a night for celebration. Tonight is the night we announce the special rules for our third Quarter Quell. It has been 75 years since this wonderful tradition began and we hope this will be an exciting year!"

He nods to someone off screen and a large ornate box is brought forth. They make a show of him opening the lid and retrieving an envelope marked 75. I lace my fingers through Katniss's and give her a small squeeze. She looks at me and gives me a nervous look. At least that look is genuine, I think. My thoughts are a little muddled by the syrup.

"As a reminder to the citizens of Panem that even the strongest among you cannot overcome the power of the Capitol each District's tributes will be reaped from the pool of remaining victors." President Snow finishes with his signature smile. I feel my heart start to pound and I look at Katniss who is pale white and shaking like a leaf. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and I see Haymitch ask the crew to turn the cameras off. After some arguing they oblige. It's just as they leave the living room and head to the kitchen that the first stabbing pains begin. I manage to remain upright but just barely. I fight to stay conscious. Her hands are on my face, brushing my hair from eyes and whispering to me.

"Come back Peeta, come back." I'm not sure how long the pain lasts, time has a funny way of warping when you are miserable. Eventually it does subside and I'm left with the throbbing aches or aftershocks as I often think of them.

I can't seem to make my voice work yet so I take a hand and cover Katniss's smaller delicate hand with mine. She bursts into tears and collapses on my chest in horrible wracking sobs. The pain and pressure of her on me is almost unbearable but I won't make her move. I wrap my arms around her and rub her back soothingly.

After some time she leans back to look me in the eye. "I'm going back in the arena." She hiccups.

"No, we are going back into the arena." I whisper and I'm in total shock when she press's her lips to mine.

We are going back in the arena. I am so screwed. I can't even take the news of the announcement without collapsing. I need to steel my resolve. I know I need to go through with the transfusion now more than ever. I need to get my strength up, I need to protect Katniss. One way or the other I am getting her out of there alive.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Ready For a Fight**

_Author Note: I hope you have all had a wonderful holiday. Mine was spent with a sick child who has now passed the sickness on to me. Now I'm trying to play catch up at work for being off… I'm hoping that my head functions enough to write something!_

After the train carrying the camera crews and the remaining capital presence recedes from view I exhale a small breath of relief. It's hard enough to keep my game face on for Katniss and Prim let alone for all of Panam, it's so tiring. It also means that now we can move forward with a game plan.

I've talked to Haymitch about what I want the outcome to be. I'm determined to go back in the arena and make sure Katniss gets home. Katniss talked to Haymitch in turn too, voicing her wish that I come home to District 12. The result was a more sober and angry Haymitch than I've ever seen. He yelled from his porch out into the cold night air that he might just go back in and sees to it that we both get home, figured that was the only way he would get any peace and quiet. I'm not sure but I think we've grown on the old drunkard.

I spend my sleepless hours planning, strategizing, and preparing for what is to come. I'm not sure what's worse, being reaped at random or having months to agonize over the what-if's. If it wasn't for this wretched sickness I would insist that we train, we run, work with all manner of weaponry and anything that might be able to save us.

Instead I'm holed up in my room at the Everdeen house sweating through my latest round of tea treatments and writing up schedules and training ideas for Katniss and Haymitch.

I wake sometime midmorning and feel slightly revived after my latest treatment. At least I'd managed to nab a few hours of sleep that didn't involve night terrors and a subsequent adrenaline attack. I head down stairs to grab a bit of food and then head over to my own home where I bake and paint while I think about what I can do to change the situation. I chuckle to myself in mirth, I paint and bake. Some warrior I am.

I'm pulled from my reverie as I hear a persistent rapping on my front door. I smile inwardly as I assume it must be Katniss. Everyone else knows that I'm at the Everdeen house most of the time and don't even bother knocking on my door. My heart skips a beat however when I see my mother's stooped form on my doorstep not Katniss's.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" She quips.

I open the door a fraction and step back and motion for her to come in. I don't say a word however, hoping to drive her away with my rudeness. I am not that lucky however.

I hear her tut as she gives herself a quick tour of my first floor. "What a waste of space. You aren't even staying here are you?" She stabs and continues before I can offer a response. "Sleeping with that no good Seam trash no doubt."

"Can I help you with something mother?" I ask, my voice dripping in disdain.

"Help me?" She turns to face me, "You aren't helping me. You owe me. A lot."

Money. Of course that's what she'd want. I just shake my head in disbelief. I retreat to my bedroom and into the locked safe the capital has hidden in my walk in closet. I remove a handful of bills and return down the steps to thrust them at her, anything to get her out of my house.

"That's it?" She asks in outrage.

"Yes that's all you're getting, now if you'll excuse me." I move back to the door and open it and motion for her to leave.

"I beg your pardon?" She asks. "I most certainly am due a bit more than this."

"Oh mother, I don't even think you are worth that." The moment the words are out of my lips she wipes away my smirk with a harsh smack across my face.

I don't offer any reaction. I keep my lips pressed in a firm line and swallow back my anger and pain.

"What's going on here?" I hear Katniss's questioning voice.

I shut my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. This situation just got a whole lot more volatile that I was prepared for.

"Nothing, my mother was just leaving."

"Remember Peeta, I'll be back for the rest." My mother says as she moves towards the door.

Katniss doesn't move however and stands blocking her exit. "Back for the rest of what?" She looks questioningly at my mother and then over to me. I shake my head at her asking her to just let it go. I should have known better though, Katniss doesn't just let things go.

"Money?" Katniss voice raises an octave. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nice mouth on you girl, I thought your mother would have raised you better than that." My mother says as she inches closer to Katniss's face.

"Oh my mother raised me just fine; she didn't even have to raise a hand to me." Katniss spouts with thinly veiled fury. My mother just smirks back because she knows what Katniss is referring to.

"Oh he's a big boy I think it will do him some good to rough him up a bit. He needs to man up." My mother nearly yells at her.

"Oh he's man enough alright. He's man enough not to hit you back, but I swear on my life if I ever catch you raising a hand to him again_ I_ will hit you, I will hit you until you can't stand it anymore! And then I'll do it again you spiteful sorry excuse for a mother!"

My mother's jaw drops in shock. I don't think anyone has ever had the outward gall to threaten her before. She shoves Katniss out of the way and heads down the drive with an angry gait not bother to say a word.

"Goodbye" Katniss yells out to her with mirth. If I didn't' know any better, I'd say that she enjoyed that. She turns back to face me and slowly touches my cheek. I bite my lip to keep the hiss from escaping but she catches my grimace. "What a bitch." She mutters to herself. She pulls me by the hand and sits me down at my own kitchen stool before retrieving a towel and filling it outside with snow. She places it gently against my cheek. My eyes are locked with hers and I feel I couldn't tear them away if I tried.

"Thanks." I whisper. I'm afraid if I speak any louder my voice would crack and betray me.

"No need to thank me Peeta, you had a whole house full of Everdeen woman lining up to have a go at that woman."

I chuckle outright at that. "I can imagine."

"Are you about finished here?" She asks eyeing the loaves of bread I've packed up.

"Guess so."

"Well let's take a walk."

We gather the bread and I throw on a coat and gloves and head out into the early evening with Katniss's arm looped through my own. I want to deliver Haymitch a loaf but she shakes her head. "He's not home."

I quickly catch her meaning as she leads me to the picnic table in her back yard. I can see Haymitch drinking from his flask and Mrs. Everdeen stooped writing in her notebook.

Katniss clears her throat as we approach.

"Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen exclaims with a grin. Her grin immediately drops however when she catches site of my face.

I smile back at her. "Don't worry about it; I'd say Katniss handled it." Haymitch chokes on his liquor with a laugh and Mrs. Everdeen is having a hard time concealing her smile.

"Better Katniss than me I expect." I outright laugh at Mrs. Everdeen, the thought of her going toe to toe with my mother is just too much.

"So what's the occasion?" I ask to the group at large.

"Gale came by for a visit this morning Peeta." Mrs. Everdeen begins with her blue doe eyes glimmering in excitement. "We have enough for the transfusion."

I try to hide the shiver that passes through me at the thought. This is a good thing, I tell myself. I can't go into the arena with this crippling disability. I need to be able to protect her. I swallow my nerves and ask "Okay so now what?"

Katniss pulls me to sit opposite her mother; she's biting her lip nervously and I long to tug it out with a kiss but I refrain, I'm not comfortable doing that in front of her mother.

"We have managed to get our hands on the tubing and supplies." Mrs. Everdeen begins brightly. "We just need a secure location, I wouldn't dream of doing this at any of our houses, just to be on the safe side." She finishes.

"How long will it take?" Katniss asks.

"Hard to say, depends on how fast the heart pumps and how big his heart is. I'd say anywhere from six to ten hours or so." Mrs. Everdeen is flipping through her charts and notes looking at different references and notes she's made.

We contemplate a solution in quiet for a while and when I pull myself back to reality the sky is almost dark.

"What about our old house in the Seam?" Katniss asks, her voice cracking slightly from disuse.

Haymitch is nodding in agreement. "That could work because I'll need control over the air temperature as well as a source to heat the blood." Mrs. Everdeen continues in her clinical voice.

"Okay so when can we do this?" I ask. I'd rather just get this over with.

"How about the end of the week?" Haymitch asks. "That way we can make sure to have everything ready and keep a low profile so that on the off chance that anyone is watching it won't look suspicious."

I struggle with a sense of disappointment and elation at the same time. Part of me wants this over with now and the other wants to put it off forever.

"Okay then, Friday it is." I say to the group at large. I feel a reassuring hand slip into mine and give me a squeeze. I'm doing this for her I remind myself. I'd do anything for her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Drained**

_Author Note: I think we are nearing a conclusion on this part of the story, perhaps another chapter or two. Never fear though I think I will continue on with a sequel. I'm sure this chapter is riddled with typos and mistakes but I'm still drained myself. _

_I'm contemplating doing a modern day/historical Hunger Games fanfiction as it seems fresh and original. Any ideas on that? Any ideas on a story you'd like to read? _

Friday finally arrives, but not before I've had three days of little sleep, stress and six adrenaline attacks. My body feels like it was broke and put back together wrong, every part of me aches. My nerves have got me so rattled the attacks just seem to come on their own. The second day Mrs. Everdeen had to start slipping me sleep syrup. She told me I couldn't have any today though because it might mess with the procedure.

I shiver with anticipation as we creep towards Katniss's old house in the early hours before dawn. Katniss stops to look at me, "Do you need to stop?" She asks in a hushed whisper. I simply shake my head and keep moving. The sooner we get there and get this over with the better I'll be.

We slip into her house, its run down and old but I catch glimpses of Katniss all over it. Drawings she and Prim had colored and hung on the walls, dried flowers and greenery, clean and simple. The house is warm and a fire crackles in the hearth. Mrs. Everdeen is busy boiling water to sterilize everything. Haymitch is stacking wood beside the hearth. My heart gives a lurch as I see that they've moved a bed in front of the fire and some chairs.

"It will be okay Peeta." Katniss whispers in my ear, it tickles and leaves goose bumps down my neck and arm. "I won't leave you for a second, I promise."

I turn and offer her a smile and I am taken by surprise when I feel her lips crush mine. I eagerly return the kiss not caring that her mother and Haymitch are probably staring awkwardly at us.

"I'm about ready with everything. Are you ready Peeta? "Mrs. Everdeen asks as she wipes her hands on her apron. I see Prim duck from behind her mother and I smile at her. I hadn't known she was here but I'm glad she is. She is so innocent and talking with her about her dreams and fantasies offers me endless distraction. I could use a few good distractions today.

I swallow nervously and make my way towards the bed. Prim and Katniss prop pillows up behind me so that I'm only semi reclined. Mrs. Everdeen and Haymitch carry over various pots and containers full of things. I look away from the pot of warm water with the bottles of blood warming in it. My eyes catch site of the rather large needle and tubing and I quickly avert my gaze and restlessly search for a safer place to look. I'm on the bridge of another adrenaline attack and I feel powerless to stop it. Katniss must sense my discomfort because she sits on the edge of the bed and places a cool hand on my cheek. She directs my gaze to hers and I feel drawn like a magnet. She places her other hand over my chest and whispers, "Calm down Peeta, breathe slow breaths with me." I try to mirror her movements and do find that after a few minutes I began to calm down.

In order for the new blood to help we need to get rid of the old tainted blood. I overhead hushed conversations about it in passing but chose to ignore it. To be honest the thought scared the shit out of me. Mrs. Everdeen worried if I lost too much blood I'd go into shock and die but Haymitch worried that we wouldn't drain enough and the whole thing would be pointless. I know what blood loss feels like and I'm not eager to repeat the experience.

"Alright Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen lays a warm hand on my arm. "You'll feel a small pinch, I'll try to be as gentle as I can but I'll be honest we don't do this sort of thing anymore. This one will drain a little blood before we put the other one in okay?" She offers me a nervous smile and I try to keep my eyes focused on Katniss as I feel the first sharp poke, I feel a twinge of pain as she pokes around and a mumbled apology as the needle is removed and she tries again. I let out a slow breath and look up at the ceiling. Katniss takes my free hand in her own and begins stroking my sweaty face with her other hand. I try to keep breathing because I don't want another attack. Finally Mrs. Everdeen exclaims, "I've got it." I let out another shaky breath and sag with relief. I feel her tape the needle down my elbow and arm. "Okay here we go." I just nod in response and close my eyes.

I hear the blood start to drip into the jar on the floor while Prim and Mrs. Everdeen carefully check my vitals and record them in the notebook. Katniss snuggles into the crook of my arm and I'm beyond grateful for her presence.

After a while, when I'm on the third jar, I start to get a little light headed. I feel Katniss shift on my side but I find I'm suddenly too weak to grasp her to pull her back. She says something to me but everything is sort of muffled. I feel a small poke in my other arm but I'm indifferent to the pain. I feel so cold and I can't help but shiver violently. I feel another blanket laid upon me. I can see blurred movement and hear muffled whispers around me but I have no idea what is going on. Is this normal? I just feel so tired and my eye lids are so heavy I can't keep them open.

I feel tired, like I've slept too long as I start to come to. I see Katniss sitting in a chair beside me, her hand resting in mine. She is truly beautiful silhouetted in front of the fire, she looks like she's glowing, or maybe that's just my blood loss.

"Peeta?" She asks. "Oh thank God. How do you feel?" She leans in and brushes the hair off my forehead which I realize is damp with perspiration.

"I dunno," I mumble, "Okay, a little tired I guess. How long have I been out?"

"A little over an hour or so. You scared me to death Peeta!" Tears are brimming in her eyes and I long to brush them away but my arms are too heavy and sore.

"I'm not going anywhere Katniss." I whisper.

Mrs. Everdeen quickly checks my vitals and writes them in her notebook, she walks over to talk to Haymitch who is keeping watch at the window.

"Just let us know if you start to feel funny again Peeta." Prim mentions as she pulls a blanket up around me.

"Yes ma'am" I respond and she suppresses a little giggle.

Mrs. Everdeen returns to me and I try to determine how things are going by looking at her face but she is as hard to read as Katniss. "How is it going?" I venture.

"You gave me a good scare Peeta but I think we're more than half there. I'm going to take out the tube that's draining your blood now. I've drained all I dare to. Then we just have to wait out the transfusion of the new blood. "

I offer a small smile as she sets to work removing the tape from my arm. She places a bandage over the needle as she pulls it. It starts to stain red immediately. She gives a small frown and grabs another gauze pad. She places her hand on it to put pressure on the wound and bends my arm at the elbow. Eventually the bleeding slows and she puts a fresh gauze wrap and tape on it. I feel much more comfortable with it removed and reposition myself to be more comfortable. Katniss moves from her chair to resume her position next to me and her comfortable weight and warmth pulls me back asleep.

I sleep fitfully and soon can no longer stay asleep. I begin to toss and squirm and fidget. Katniss wakes with my movements and I offer her a mumbled apology. I feel my insides squirm when they try to get me to eat soup so I refuse it. I take tiny sips of water but I'm starting to think that might make a reappearance. Mrs. Everdeen checks my vitals again and offers a small frown, "You've got a small fever."

"How much more?" I ask her.

"One more jar, probably another hour or so." She responds. I don't see how I can possibly go another hour. I try talking with Prim to pass the time but I begin to fidget more and more. Katniss tries reading to me but when my legs are bouncing on the bed she stops.

"Mom, I think that's enough, we need to stop, look at him." She proclaims.

I feel hot and sweaty and I long to bolt from the room into the cold wintery air outside, to get away from needles and blood and everyone. I feel a cool cloth pressed to my forehead before Mrs. Everdeen sets to remove the remaining IV.

As soon as I'm untethered I try to stand but I am pushed back down. "Not yet, Peeta. Give it a few minutes okay?" Mrs. Everdeen insists. I grumble but sit back down.

Eventually everything is packed away and as the sun sets Mrs. Everdeen makes the announcement that it's okay to make our way home. I make my way shakily out into the light basking in my freedom. I don't have an adrenaline attack but by the time we get to the entrance to Victor's Village I'm leaning nearly all my weight on to Katniss. I guess I'm weaker than I thought.

Once I've been tucked into my bed I pass out immediately. I don't remember ever sleeping so soundly with no dreams to speak of. When I wake my eyes are crusty and dry and my tongue feels like carpet. I spy a glass of water beside the bed and gulp it down greedily. I realize I need to desperately use the bathroom, I pull back he covers and locate my prosthetic leg and reattach it and hastily clamor to the bathroom to relieve myself.

I'm surprised to see that the clock says seven. It looks like seven in the morning! I feel a little achy but better than I have in a while. I smell sausage cooking and my stomach growls with hunger.

I'm greeted with squeals of "Peeta" from all of the girls and a grumbled "About damn time," from Haymitch.

"How long was I asleep?" I ask.

"A day and a half!" Katniss answers as she pulls me into a hug. "How do you feel?"

"Fine" I answer honestly.

I'm so hungry I nearly shovel food down my throat and Mrs. Everdeen has to keep refilling my plate. When I'm satiated I lean back in my chair and smile. I am anxious to see if the transfusion worked and by the looks of Katniss and Haymitch they are too.

"Anyone care for a run?" I ask. Katniss raises an eyebrow at me and I shrug. I quickly change into some warm clothes and retrieve my shoes. While I was asleep it seems that snow melted in an early spring thaw. Katniss joins me as I jog into the back yard ready to start training.

We begin a slow jog and begin to do laps. Haymitch watches warily from the picnic table. We run for a while and then switch to doing some stretching and pushups. My muscles are weak from disuse and I vow to get them built up if I can. We move to hand to hand combat and Haymitch steps up to offer us some pointers. When he gets the better of me for the second time I feel a twinge of an adrenaline attack as I try to escape his clutches. He immediately lets go of me when my body goes rigid but I swallow the pain and tackle him.

"Peeta!" I hear Katniss yell. Haymitch is laughing.

"I'm fine Katniss, it didn't hurt nearly as much as before and I went all day working out to have one! We can do this!" I can't help but smile tiredly as she pulls me off the ground.

"Tomorrow we start our training program." I announce to Haymitch and Katniss, they share a look with each other, I'm not sure what it means but I don't care. I'm going to save Katniss! The next thought puts a damper on my mood however, I owe Gale Hawthorne.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**The Beginning of the End**

_Author Note: I managed to crank out a chapter on a Sunday. Unheard of! But I'm feeling a little better and attribute my strange behavior to that. I hate to say it kids but this is the last chapter of this story. Never fear… the sequel will continue immediately! I think I will name it Peeta's Solution. I hope you liked this one enough that you will carry on reading my next story._

_Hope you enjoy, please review!_

My feet pound the pavement as the first streak of pink breaks across the dawn sky. I've been running now every morning for months. I've grown a callous on my stump so that I no longer feel the rubbing and chaffing of my prosthetic. I've pushed my body day in and day out making myself stronger, faster and hopefully more capable. I still get the occasional adrenaline attack but I find that it's triggered almost only by fear and fear alone. I'm trying to train myself to avoid fear at all costs or to overcome it.

Occasionally I catch Katniss coming back from the woods now that the warmer weather has arrived. I don't discourage it even with the new law enforcement in town. She needs to stay sharp with that bow if I hope to get her home in one piece.

Once home I stretch, lift free weights and do any kind of sit up, push up and pull up I can think of. My body is definitely more toned and more bulky than I've ever been. I make sure to eat well each day building up what my body will be able to endure when I'm without food in the arena. The reaping will be tomorrow and I am as prepared as I'll ever be, well almost.

After I'm showered and dressed I make my way down to the mines. I search each of the miner's faces that come and go looking for only one. Gale. It's alarming how much they all look alike with their helmets and soot covered faces and clothes. I don't know how long I sit there, but I feel like the sun has burned my skin before I spot him coming to the surface. He makes his way out of the elevator and heads towards a shady spot for his lunch. I make my way over to him still unsure how to begin.

"Gale." I say. He looks up at me, squinting in the sun to see who is talking to him.

"Yea?" Is all he grunts.

"Can I have a word?" I ask. He merely shrugs and says nothing. I take this as a yes. I sit down Indian style next to him and begin to nervously pull at the grass. "I don't know where to begin."

Gale chews his sandwich and stares at me. Finally he speaks with his mouth still full. "Why are you here dough boy?"

I swallow my retort at the mention of my nick name. "I guess I'm just here to say thank you for what you did for me."

"I didn't do it for you, I did it for her." He snips back having finished his sandwich. I stare blankly at him. When I don't say anything additional he continues. "You should have seen how broken she was when you were so sick. She couldn't stand being away from you but she couldn't handle seeing you in all that pain."

After a moment I find my voice again. "I'm going to do everything I can to get her home to you Gale."

He looks at me in surprise. "But you have to promise me one thing." I continue.

"Anything, name it."

"You need to make her happy, you need to help her move on and not blame herself, it won't be easy but I can't go in there if I don't know for certain that you aren't going to be willing to pick up the pieces and put her back together again."

"I'll do it." He replies without preamble. I simply nod and hold out my hand. He gives it a shake and I stand and stretch myself out.

"Nice knowing you Gale." I say as I'm moving to leave.

"Nice knowing you too Peeta." He says softly. My name sounds strange coming from his lips. I think that's the first time he's ever used my real name.

When I get back to the Village as I've come to call it I see her waiting for me on my front steps. I still sleep at the Everdeen's under the pretense of still being ill but I do it so I can hold Katniss to rouse her from her nightmares. I also can't bear being so alone again. I rise early each day and do my routine and then usually return home to bake, paint and write in my journal before returning to the comfort of the Everdeen family. I plan on leaving my journal for her to find after she returns home to help her move on. It's emotionally crippling for me to write these thoughts out but I know I have to.

She stands as I approach and offers me a smile. When I get to the steps I pull her into my arms and offer a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips become more eager deepening the kiss. I even feel her dart her tongue into my mouth and she moans hungrily. I pull back to catch my breath, "Miss me?" I laugh.

"More than you could imagine." She replies.

I pull her by the hand and lead her into the house where I start to prepare some dough while she watches and sips her tea on a stool on the other side of the counter. Suddenly she blurts out, "Are you scared?" I stop what I'm doing and dust the flour off my hands and onto my apron.

"To death." I say in all seriousness, "But if I give in too much and stop and think about the fear it gives me an adrenaline attack so I try not to think about it." I come around the counter and turn her to face me on the stool, my hand on either of her legs. "Are you okay?" I ask her.

"I'm scared of losing you." She tells me. I know there is no reassuring answer I can give her. There is no way in hell the capital will allow us both to walk away again. In fact, I think this quarter quell twist was written specifically to solve our "problem".

Instead I just lean and kiss her. I pour everything I have into the kiss, all my love, affection, worries, fears and hopes. She responds back eagerly. I wrap my arms around her and pull on her braid freeing her hair form its restraints. Her hands roam behind my back and untie my apron.

"Katniss?" I question her.

"Make love to me Peeta." I kiss her more eagerly before answering.

"Are you sure?" I ask panting.

"I don't want my first time to be with anyone else, I love you."

"I love you Katniss, more than anything." I respond before crushing my lips back on hers. She wraps her legs around me and I easily lift her petite frame and carry her to my room, our lips never stopping their heated exploration.

I ease her gently down on the bed and climb to rest comfortably between her legs. She pulls at the hem of my shirt and I lean back so she can slip it over my head. I in turn began unbuttoning hers slowly. Her hands feel like fire on my chest, they roam and trace, scratch and pull. Her skin feels soft beneath my hands and I drink up the sight before me. I wish I could stay in this moment forever, never moving forward.

Katniss shrugs off her shirt and puts her hand behind her back and unclasps her bra and tosses them both over the bed. I stare in wonder at her beautiful breasts and gently take one in my hand. We explore each other for a long time before we stop to break apart before continuing.

"Katniss, I don't have anything… you know."

She looks at me with her swollen lips and hooded eyes before connecting the dots. She pulls me back to her lips and then whispers in my ear. "I don't care Peeta. It doesn't matter now. "I pull back and stare at her "Please," Her eyes and voice begging me to continue. I nod my head shakily.

That night two became one. I gave her my heart and she gave hers. I only hope that it doesn't destroy her completely when she comes home without me. We sleep tangled in each other's arms both of us unwilling to part even a little. But before we know it the sun has risen and with it the day of the reaping.

We shower together, neither of us saying a word, just holding onto one another and staring into each other's eyes. We dress and I'm shocked to see that she had brought a bag of things with her. "You planned on staying last night didn't you?" I ask her a smile creeping across my face.

She blushes red and hides her face. "Guilty." She giggles. I kiss her deeply and I have to stop before we end up in the bed again. I'd hate to be dragged by peace keepers to the square if we're late. We step out of our house and see Haymitch, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim walking towards us. Mrs. Everdeen is fighting back tears, attempting to be strong for her girls. Prim however is crying freely and openly. She crashes into Katniss and me sobbing into us. I bend down and scoop her in my arms.

"It's okay Prim, shhh. I'll get Katniss home for you." I whisper into her hair.

She clings to me tighter than before not saying a word. I carry Prim in one arm and hold Katniss's hand with my other and that's the way we enter the square. The whole town is already in attendance and it looks like we are the last to arrive, every pair of eyes rests on us. We don't bother checking in with the capital to sign in, we're the only three victors and everyone knows that. Katniss whispers her goodbyes to her mother and Prim and then walks to her roped off square. Haymitch and I walk to ours.

Effie Trinket bounds onto the stage at her appropriate time in a somber blue dress. There isn't even glitter on it. I can't help but wonder how the citizens of the capital are handling this latest turn of events, they grow attached to their victors more than any other district. If Effie's dress is any indication I don't think they are celebrating this Hunger Games this year.

"Welcome, welcome. It is time for the reaping for the 75th annual Hunger Games. As you all know this years is a special year, marking the third quarter quell, therefore this year the tributes will be chosen from the pool of existing victors. "She purses her lips and makes her way over to one ball. It has one sole slip of paper within it. She struggles before catching it in her fingers.

"Our female tribute is Katniss Everdeen." There is no applause no shock; she was the only female tribute it was obvious she was going back in. She makes her way stoically to the stage and takes her place beside Effie. She stares at me and I at her as Effie move to choose the male tribute. "Our male tribute is Haymitch Abernathy." Katniss's lips part in hope, one that I dash immediately.

"I volunteer." I answer solemnly and walk to the stage, Haymitch places his arm on my shoulder as he stands beside us. Katniss's hand finds mind and together we three face the citizens of District 12 who all have their fingers raised in a solute.

"And here are your tributes for the 75th Annual Hunger Games." Effie's arm sweeps to show us. She has tears falling down her face.

I take Katniss's hand in my own as they whisk us off to the train. We are going to back to the capital, back into the arena and I'm not coming back.


	20. Chapter 20

SEQUEL POSTED:

I hated to do this but I wasn't sure how else to notify you the new sequel is up. Peeta's Solution. I have one chapter posted and two more written… and a good start on the fourth. Check it out and let me know what you think.


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